LIFE AT 60 - GO!

OK, now you have seen it.  READY, SET, GO!  I know, I have a very bent sense of humor, but hey, its me!  LOL  Why did I decide to write this way?  I really dont know. God has really been the one giving the words for all these blogs.  Im an OK writer, but I dont think I would have been able to write all these as well as they are without being guided by God.

Well today Im designating GO day!  I had the surgery to install the POWER PORT, OR PORTACATH, take your pick.  I kinda like POWER PORT!  Has a pretty cool ring to it.  POWER!!  YEAH, I have the POWER!  (Gods power that is).  Not what I expected, but then Im not at all sure any of this has been what I expected.  I was told the biopsy would be painful, it was not really, I "thought" this would be a tuff procedure to go thru, and would be hard to deal with under clothes etc, its not!  God is just showing me small miracles pretty much on a daily basis.  How cool is that?  I think pretty cool!

One today was that the IV line went right in, no problem.  Considering I had not had anything to drink for 12 hours, that is a miracle that they could even find the vein.  The gal drawing the blood, got it in 2, again pretty painless.  ALSO, I did not get angry for her missing the 1st.  That in itself is almost a miracle, classify it as a "minor" miracle!  :)

Ive had a couple of people tell me that they were "surprised" that I did not blame God for what has happened to me.  I guess that might be the 1st response from a lot of people.  HOWEVER that honestly never crossed my mind.  I dont know why, but it did not.  God DOES NOT make people sick.  He will sometimes allow it.  I cant explain why, I just know that it does happen.  There is always a plan.  We might never understand what that plan is, but here again that is all about one of the "F" words, FAITH!  Faith is about believing in something we cannot see.  I cant see this c----r, (refuse to give that word credence), but I know it's there.  I can't see my salvation, but I know its there.  I dont know what Gods plan is for this journey, but I KNOW there is a plan.  I just anxious to see it come into play.  Have you ever been excited to see something, but you did not really know what it was you were excited about?  If you have, that is pretty much the feeling I have.  I KNOW Im not excited about getting gallons of poison put in my veins, or having my head and throat radiated, but I KNOW there is a plan, and it is much, much larger than me.  I also know that if Im to go thru this, that God will be right there 100% of the time.  I know that He will never ever give us more that we can handle, and that is ONE promise I am totally standing on.  (Actually right now, I cant begin to count all those promises, but that is one).  LOL

I was playing with some photo effects and one was all different colors, mostly green, yellow and red, and I thought about posting it with the caption of "This is what I will look like after radiation".  I know more bent humor.  Hey, I might as well laugh at this.  If I laugh at it the devil cant attack me.  I enjoying things right now.  Does this mean that I wont have ANY days that Im down, of course not.  Im human.  As such, we can get down, or up or whatever.  THAT is where God comes in.  He has the power to change us, and He does change us.  I know that when I do get down, all I have to do is ask and He will be there to pick me back up.  I believing that the after effects of all this treatment is going to be minimal, if at all.  Why do I believe that, well so far nothing has been as painful, or as stressful, or anything I was warned that it would be.  Why should I believe anything different for future stuff.

Please forgive me if any of this is incoherent drugs from the surgery are still affecting me somewhat.  Kinda like you might feel after 3 medium margarita's.  LOL  Ive NEVER had 3 at one sitting, Im just guessing.  Im sure that tomorrow I will feel up to running around with Renita and go looking for a new dishwasher.  YEP you guessed it, the dishwasher failed last night.  It is about 20 years old, so its probably time.  Ran thru the cycle, but not much water, so shopping we must go!

I look at it this way.  When this is all over, I will still have my voice.  I may have lost a few pounds, which I needed to do anyway, I might have lost some hair, but it grows back, I will have my family, and I will have grown stronger in my faith.  My friend told me the other day, dont miss the "little things", things you might normally over look.  Thats good advice, not only for people with illness, but for anyone.  How many times do we overlook some small thing that God might have put in our path, just as a small test.  Maybe that person you see that needs a few bucks to pay a bill, or someone that needs a ride to the store or Dr office.  We all tend to be "too busy" to see these things.  How about someone in military uniform at a restaurant, might be nice to just pick up his tab.  How about a frazzled mom with a couple of small kids trying to get in or out of a door of a store?  Door holding is free and easy.  The common term these days is "pay if forward".  Its all about compassion.  Im still dealing with it, but really what does it hurt to let someone in front of you on the road?  NOTHING, and besides it might just stop an accident.  (Like I said, that one Im STILL working on).  I do tend to be competitive.  Speaking of which, I was told today that I cant do much physical activity for at least 2 weeks.  BUMMER, but its all good, there is a plan.

Ok so just to finish this up, these last 3 blogs were titled READY, SET, AND GO!  I did this for a reason.  Im ready, and Im set, and today was GO day.  The 1st step in moving on in treatment.  Chemo starts next Tuesday, should be an interesting day. I was told today that while these chemicals kill all the bad cells, they also kill a lot if not all of the good stuff.  SOOOO I have to take a shot the day after to cause the more rapid manufacture of white blood cells.  Im thinking if I can get some sort of exercise regimen going that should help as well.  That will at least help with rebuilding the red blood cells.

Well enough rambling for the night.  Lets attack things in life with more vigor, and energy.  Thats my plan.