The other day I wrote a blog about All In, well this is part II. Sometimes you just have to write what God wants you to write, WHEN He wants you to write it. Sometimes its really hard to stay All IN, then again what choice do we really have?
Lately most of my blogs have been about this blasted disease I have and treatments, and whats going on, well not changing that today. :) On Wednesday, I had the PET scan, and they dont lie, not sure if that is a good thing or bad, but the rollercoaster ride they take you on, are cruel and unusual punishment! LOL
Well the rubber is meeting the road sooner than later. Oh yeah Ive been getting the chemo junk and honestly Ive been laughing at it, and will likely continue to do so, because as the Apostle Paul said it best, to live is Christ, which is a good thing, but to DIE IS GAIN! In other words either way it turns out, its a WIN/WIN deal. Do I want to die?, not really, but man the thought of meeting Jesus is really appealing. You know we have this built in desire to win, to not give up, to LIVE! After all, I have 2 grandsons, a daughter, son in law, and of course the ever lovely wife Renita. So you see why its so hard to just give up and die? I never figured this out till now, and Im really not sure I have it figured out. Actually I DONT have it figured out, except that God does what HE does and its up to us to follow HIM!
I am going to try acupuncture and see what that does. Ive been told that there is good things happening with that treatment. In the meantime chemo will continue, along with bi-weekly blood draws. Honestly I think the Dr has come to the end of thinking he can be of help. I KNOW where the real help is coming from and that is thru Jesus blood. ALL the tests, ALL the opinions, give us the facts and the truth, but that leads us in which direction to pray
SO! Lets all pray that God will kick cancer of all kinds to the curb!
Stories about life in general, politics, where I have been, where Im going, what I like to do.
Friday, April 26, 2019
Wednesday, April 17, 2019
LIFE AT 67 - ALL IN!
As promised here is whats going on in my life today and the last few.
ALL IN! What does that mean to you? If anyone reading this goes to St Louis Family Church, you know because its what we are about. If you are reading this for the first time, you might not get where Im going with this. I will give you MY feelings on what ALL IN means to me.
When you are dealing with a deadly disease, and you have only heard negative thoughts from the doctors you are dealing with, its hard to stay positive. In fact sometimes its darn near impossible. To give you an example, the last few days has been hard. TONS of pain, and honestly I "thought" I was going to die. Im ready to die, but really dont want to, I have "work" in my opinion that needs to be accomplished. I have 2 grandchildren that possibly sometime in the future might need me, and most of all, I want to see people find Jesus. I believe we are likely in the very last days and there is very little time to reach people.
So what does All In mean to you? Long story short, Give everything you have, make yourself ALL IN for the glory of Jesus. Dont be afraid to speak out for the power of Jesus. Im all in for Jesus and HIS power. When you have what doctors call a terminal disease you NEED to be all in. When Dr's dont give you a chance in you know where, you NEED to be all in. Even when some friends and family treat you like Job, and wonder why you can have the faith to be "ALL IN", YOU must be all in.
I have no idea how long I will live. It could be a day or two, or it could be 20-30 more years. God is the only person that knows.
Be all in for this time. For such a time as this! You must be all in.
Getting back to the original thought, I had a PET scan today, I have no results at this time, probably tomorrow. As of last week, the numbers were pretty much going the right direction. I still need prayer for a lot of things. Im dizzy a lot, NO COMMENTS from the peanut gallery, my platelets, white blood cells, and red blood cells need to come up. The cancer marker, CA19-9 needs to keep going DOWN! That is the big number that we need to get below 36. Right now its 548, and it started out at 1217. So Ive given all I know at this point, and I hope that my praying friends will continue to pray.
I love all of you and am thankful for each of you.
ALL IN! What does that mean to you? If anyone reading this goes to St Louis Family Church, you know because its what we are about. If you are reading this for the first time, you might not get where Im going with this. I will give you MY feelings on what ALL IN means to me.
When you are dealing with a deadly disease, and you have only heard negative thoughts from the doctors you are dealing with, its hard to stay positive. In fact sometimes its darn near impossible. To give you an example, the last few days has been hard. TONS of pain, and honestly I "thought" I was going to die. Im ready to die, but really dont want to, I have "work" in my opinion that needs to be accomplished. I have 2 grandchildren that possibly sometime in the future might need me, and most of all, I want to see people find Jesus. I believe we are likely in the very last days and there is very little time to reach people.
So what does All In mean to you? Long story short, Give everything you have, make yourself ALL IN for the glory of Jesus. Dont be afraid to speak out for the power of Jesus. Im all in for Jesus and HIS power. When you have what doctors call a terminal disease you NEED to be all in. When Dr's dont give you a chance in you know where, you NEED to be all in. Even when some friends and family treat you like Job, and wonder why you can have the faith to be "ALL IN", YOU must be all in.
I have no idea how long I will live. It could be a day or two, or it could be 20-30 more years. God is the only person that knows.
Be all in for this time. For such a time as this! You must be all in.
Getting back to the original thought, I had a PET scan today, I have no results at this time, probably tomorrow. As of last week, the numbers were pretty much going the right direction. I still need prayer for a lot of things. Im dizzy a lot, NO COMMENTS from the peanut gallery, my platelets, white blood cells, and red blood cells need to come up. The cancer marker, CA19-9 needs to keep going DOWN! That is the big number that we need to get below 36. Right now its 548, and it started out at 1217. So Ive given all I know at this point, and I hope that my praying friends will continue to pray.
I love all of you and am thankful for each of you.
Wednesday, February 6, 2019
LIFE AT 67 - #GODSGOTTHIS
Sonny and Cher back in the day had a song called, The Beat Goes On. Well that is where I am right now, including the part where they sing, Drums keep pounding a rhythm in my brain. ONLY this beat is God assuring, reassuring, and pounding that beat, that this is NOT over by a long shot, but that HE is going to heal.
Rhythm is very important in not only music but in our everyday life, Without RHYTHM music would not exist, without rhythm life itself would not exist. Our very souls cry out for a steady beat to keep us all on an even keel. I HOPE Im not getting too far afield, but think about it for just a minute, GOD wants us to live a great life, and one that is void of sickness. IF our bodies are out of sync and not in rhythm, we end up all out of kilter, and NOT functioning they way God wants it to,
I occurs to me that this mess I am going thru, that life MUST be in rhythm. Example would be this. Without RHYTHM we could not move, talk to speak, sing, drive a car. Everything God created works together. BY design
In my case the body decided it did not want to stay in rhythm and when that happens, things happen, REALLY not good things
If you think about this our christian walk is much the sane. IF WE get out of rhythm with Jesus, We fall out of rhythm with everything. The simple simple answer is that we stay in rhythm with God to keep our lives straight, IF we fall out of rhythm with God we lose, and satan wins. satan is a liar and a loser, dont be like satan. (PS he really needs to be throat punched) Im tired of him an he stupid antics, he cheats and just doesnt play fair) Remember he is the father of lies and his greatest pleasure is to seek, kill, and destroy! Dont fall for it
As for me and my situation here is where it stands, I will have chemo only for however long, (dont really know for how long) I guess for as long as it takes. The nasty think inside of me apparently relentless, and though they ca treat it, they cant cure it. Surgery is really not an option BUT God is a great option and HE can and will heal me. Remember its all about rhythm. Something goes wrong God can and will fix it.
Rhythm is very important in not only music but in our everyday life, Without RHYTHM music would not exist, without rhythm life itself would not exist. Our very souls cry out for a steady beat to keep us all on an even keel. I HOPE Im not getting too far afield, but think about it for just a minute, GOD wants us to live a great life, and one that is void of sickness. IF our bodies are out of sync and not in rhythm, we end up all out of kilter, and NOT functioning they way God wants it to,
I occurs to me that this mess I am going thru, that life MUST be in rhythm. Example would be this. Without RHYTHM we could not move, talk to speak, sing, drive a car. Everything God created works together. BY design
In my case the body decided it did not want to stay in rhythm and when that happens, things happen, REALLY not good things
If you think about this our christian walk is much the sane. IF WE get out of rhythm with Jesus, We fall out of rhythm with everything. The simple simple answer is that we stay in rhythm with God to keep our lives straight, IF we fall out of rhythm with God we lose, and satan wins. satan is a liar and a loser, dont be like satan. (PS he really needs to be throat punched) Im tired of him an he stupid antics, he cheats and just doesnt play fair) Remember he is the father of lies and his greatest pleasure is to seek, kill, and destroy! Dont fall for it
As for me and my situation here is where it stands, I will have chemo only for however long, (dont really know for how long) I guess for as long as it takes. The nasty think inside of me apparently relentless, and though they ca treat it, they cant cure it. Surgery is really not an option BUT God is a great option and HE can and will heal me. Remember its all about rhythm. Something goes wrong God can and will fix it.
Friday, January 25, 2019
LIVE AT 67 -- THE FIGHT HAS STARTED AND GOES ON
Hey everyone. Ive had a lot of private messages, texts, etc asking what the PET scan revealed. Well here goes with what I KNOW. FIRST Im not positive the this diagnosis is correct, but it is likely more so than not, or at least relatively close. :)
SOOOO the initial diagnosis from the PET is that there is c in a lot of lymph nodes, as well as the liver. The Dr is calling it Bile Duct Cancer. YEAH, I know what traditional thoughts are on liver cancer, but I have faith that God is STILL in the healing business and that HE will prevail. The Bible tells us that "By HIS stripes we were healed." NOT could be healed, not MIGHT be healed, or any other "maybe" answer. Jesus healed anyone that came to him and asked to be healed. This includes a woman who was very ill with a bleeding issue for many years, yet she knew if she could just touch the hem of his tunic, she WOULD be healed.
Ill be the first to say I NEED prayer, and WANT prayer. I WILL NOT wallow is self pity wanting to "know why", its here, its doing what it does, I now need to do what I need to do, and rely on God to do as He has promised. This is a serious situation, but the Bible tells us to bring ALL of our needs to Him, so thats the direction we can go. So I guess Im saying I need all my prayer warrior friends to include me in banging on the gates of heaven.
I love each and everyone of my friends, both on FB, and in "real life" LOL Seriously I do have friends outside of FB. Well at least I THINK I do!
Seriously, knowing that kind of treatment Im up against since I did similar almost 7 years ago, it is daunting. I have a friend the other day tell me that she thought it was harder getting a reoccurring diagnosis because her cancer returned, because you KNOW whats coming. Yeah you do know whats coming and you hate the fact that family has to deal with you the first few days after a chemo treatment, basically because you body is rebelling because you just filled it with poison. THEN you get to radiate it, but apparently with this c, you get to endure some sort of surgery. Have aI said yet that I would rather do pretty much anything else. LOL
I REFUSE to lose my faith over this. I REFUSE to let satan win. I REFUSE quit,
I guess if you are a praying person, you can pray for this.
1. Pray for Renita. She is going thru her own issues and now has to deal with my stuff. NOT FAIR!
2. IF there is surgery, that whatever they do, its able to remove the bad stuff
3. Apparently chemo is usually done AFTER surgery, as is radiation. Pray that those only harm the BAD stuff and not the good
4. Pray for my strength. I will need lots of it. Im going to try doing the gym, but I remember last time, I barely had the strength to kinda get out of bed.
5. Im a horrible patient. Please pray that I will have patience, and a good attitude around those that only trying to help. I tend to be a helper, and giver, and its hard for me to accept help EVEN when I need it.
6. WE will need wisdom is working with Dr's and teams of Dr's, and wisdom to know that if there are any chemo stuff that will do more harm than good, to know and stop it.
Im confident that with God, WE will come out on the other side in good shape and feeling good.
I will try to keep everyone updated as I can. Right now, till after Tuesday I really dont know more that what I put here. Oncologist appt on Tuesday, 2nd opinion appt as soon as I can get it, then dive it. YUCK, but here we go!!!
SOOOO the initial diagnosis from the PET is that there is c in a lot of lymph nodes, as well as the liver. The Dr is calling it Bile Duct Cancer. YEAH, I know what traditional thoughts are on liver cancer, but I have faith that God is STILL in the healing business and that HE will prevail. The Bible tells us that "By HIS stripes we were healed." NOT could be healed, not MIGHT be healed, or any other "maybe" answer. Jesus healed anyone that came to him and asked to be healed. This includes a woman who was very ill with a bleeding issue for many years, yet she knew if she could just touch the hem of his tunic, she WOULD be healed.
Ill be the first to say I NEED prayer, and WANT prayer. I WILL NOT wallow is self pity wanting to "know why", its here, its doing what it does, I now need to do what I need to do, and rely on God to do as He has promised. This is a serious situation, but the Bible tells us to bring ALL of our needs to Him, so thats the direction we can go. So I guess Im saying I need all my prayer warrior friends to include me in banging on the gates of heaven.
I love each and everyone of my friends, both on FB, and in "real life" LOL Seriously I do have friends outside of FB. Well at least I THINK I do!
Seriously, knowing that kind of treatment Im up against since I did similar almost 7 years ago, it is daunting. I have a friend the other day tell me that she thought it was harder getting a reoccurring diagnosis because her cancer returned, because you KNOW whats coming. Yeah you do know whats coming and you hate the fact that family has to deal with you the first few days after a chemo treatment, basically because you body is rebelling because you just filled it with poison. THEN you get to radiate it, but apparently with this c, you get to endure some sort of surgery. Have aI said yet that I would rather do pretty much anything else. LOL
I REFUSE to lose my faith over this. I REFUSE to let satan win. I REFUSE quit,
I guess if you are a praying person, you can pray for this.
1. Pray for Renita. She is going thru her own issues and now has to deal with my stuff. NOT FAIR!
2. IF there is surgery, that whatever they do, its able to remove the bad stuff
3. Apparently chemo is usually done AFTER surgery, as is radiation. Pray that those only harm the BAD stuff and not the good
4. Pray for my strength. I will need lots of it. Im going to try doing the gym, but I remember last time, I barely had the strength to kinda get out of bed.
5. Im a horrible patient. Please pray that I will have patience, and a good attitude around those that only trying to help. I tend to be a helper, and giver, and its hard for me to accept help EVEN when I need it.
6. WE will need wisdom is working with Dr's and teams of Dr's, and wisdom to know that if there are any chemo stuff that will do more harm than good, to know and stop it.
Im confident that with God, WE will come out on the other side in good shape and feeling good.
I will try to keep everyone updated as I can. Right now, till after Tuesday I really dont know more that what I put here. Oncologist appt on Tuesday, 2nd opinion appt as soon as I can get it, then dive it. YUCK, but here we go!!!
Thursday, January 17, 2019
LIFE AT 67 - HERE WE GO
Hi everyone!! Ive been holding on to this information for a few days as I was trying to figure out how to write about it, wrap my head around things etc.
My very first blog was almost 7 years ago. At that point I had been told I had cancer and that it was on my larynx. NOT what pretty much anyone wants to hear, well on Monday evening at around 5:12pm I heard those words again. Strangely not totally unexpected, yet a shock to the system regardless. This time I know less now than I did before, yet I have the same resolve that satan will not defeat me and that since he a beaten foe, I let God to the fight. Right now, until we get a PET scan, we do not know the extent of it, where exactly it is, what stage it is, or really anything about it, other than it exists. They do feel like it is in the upper GI tract.
Interesting I had someone tell me the other day when I told then, that its time to put the gloves back on because Im in for a fight. I agree with that. satan never plays fair. THIS time he has come after both my wife and I at the same time, and that is totally unfair.
Over the next period of time Im sure Ill be writing and regaling everyone about the tales of treatments and the poison they use to fight it. Rest assured, Ill likely be getting more options for treatments and doing things more in line with what God wants
Trust me on this, I might have a disease that may or may not be curable. MY GOD is the great healer, our healing was bought by Jesus stripes on Calvary. NO FEAR here. God has not given the spirit of fear, but of Love Power and a Sound mind.
There are over 101 verses in the Bible about healing! We will be relying on those for our healing
The interesting thing is that in most battles, there are rules of engagement, in fighting c, its no holds barred. For those of us who do believe in healing, thats like having a secret weapon and like having a whole battalion of soldiers behind you ready to fight.
SO where do we go from here? We stand strong on the word of God! We keep the faith, no matter what. We rely on an d covet the prayers of anyone that would agree to pray with us. When this happened 7 years ago, I literally had strangers and friends from around the world praying. I KNOW that God will lead that same charge this time. Healing is ours. Sometimes its miraculous and instant, other times its a little at a time as God sees fit and shows his great power. OF COURSE you want the instant everything, but sometimes that just doesnt happen and God heals as he sees fit.
SO lets put on the boxing gloves, (also known as the armor of God,) and lets get ready to rumble. satan cannot, and will not win this
Blessings to all of you
My very first blog was almost 7 years ago. At that point I had been told I had cancer and that it was on my larynx. NOT what pretty much anyone wants to hear, well on Monday evening at around 5:12pm I heard those words again. Strangely not totally unexpected, yet a shock to the system regardless. This time I know less now than I did before, yet I have the same resolve that satan will not defeat me and that since he a beaten foe, I let God to the fight. Right now, until we get a PET scan, we do not know the extent of it, where exactly it is, what stage it is, or really anything about it, other than it exists. They do feel like it is in the upper GI tract.
Interesting I had someone tell me the other day when I told then, that its time to put the gloves back on because Im in for a fight. I agree with that. satan never plays fair. THIS time he has come after both my wife and I at the same time, and that is totally unfair.
Over the next period of time Im sure Ill be writing and regaling everyone about the tales of treatments and the poison they use to fight it. Rest assured, Ill likely be getting more options for treatments and doing things more in line with what God wants
Trust me on this, I might have a disease that may or may not be curable. MY GOD is the great healer, our healing was bought by Jesus stripes on Calvary. NO FEAR here. God has not given the spirit of fear, but of Love Power and a Sound mind.
There are over 101 verses in the Bible about healing! We will be relying on those for our healing
The interesting thing is that in most battles, there are rules of engagement, in fighting c, its no holds barred. For those of us who do believe in healing, thats like having a secret weapon and like having a whole battalion of soldiers behind you ready to fight.
SO where do we go from here? We stand strong on the word of God! We keep the faith, no matter what. We rely on an d covet the prayers of anyone that would agree to pray with us. When this happened 7 years ago, I literally had strangers and friends from around the world praying. I KNOW that God will lead that same charge this time. Healing is ours. Sometimes its miraculous and instant, other times its a little at a time as God sees fit and shows his great power. OF COURSE you want the instant everything, but sometimes that just doesnt happen and God heals as he sees fit.
SO lets put on the boxing gloves, (also known as the armor of God,) and lets get ready to rumble. satan cannot, and will not win this
Blessings to all of you
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