FRIDAY THE 13TH!! Who among you think this is a great day? It has long been a day associated with "bad luck", black cats, just bad "mo jo", well NO MORE! Friday July 13, 2012 is a day that will be celebrated as an awesome day. It was the day that I had my last radiation treatment for the dreaded disease that had the audacity to attack my throat! I guess that satan did not get the message that I belonged to God and that HE was going to take care of things. YES I did have chemo treatment! YES I had radiation therapy! HOWEVER God was in control the whole time. IN FACT the last PET scan showed that I had already been healed before the radiation took place.
So why you ask am I writing about all of this? Well maybe you need to know about all of this! Maybe its because this is what God wants someone out there to read and see. :) It has been an incredible journey since the end of January. You know when a Dr comes into the ER room you are in and says the words that everyone wants to hear, "You have cancer", NOT, it can go one of 2 ways. You can say NO way, or you can give up and do whatever people do that give up. I politely told him he was making a mistake. When my personal physician came into the hospital room the next day and said the same thing, I politely told her NO I dont. When the ENT specialist told me pretty much the following week, and then said I was going to need surgery to cut out my voice box and that I would need a permanent trach tube, and that I would need a feeding tube, I told him NO I would not. Was I just in denial? Was I just being a jerk? OR was I being faithful to what I had been told my whole life, that God is a healer. Im to this day, not totally sure, but I did believe that God was/is/and forever will be a healer. I might have been in a bit of denial, I might have been a bit of a jerk, (did not like the Dr's) LOL HOWEVER Im thankful to the ER Dr who discovered it and had the forethought to do the CT scan because "something" told him to. There have been many "strange" things that have happened in the last 5 1/2 months, way too many to name each and every one, but I can see Gods hand in the whole journey.
Just as one of many examples, the radiation therapists were all amazed that the burns on my neck were not worse than they are. They were amazed that I had not lost my voice. They were amazed that I had not had to get a feeding tube. They were amazed that my throat was not more sore than it was. This they told me on Friday the 13th!! According to them, MOST people by the time they are into the radiation are losing their voice, and have a feeding tube. My response was that EVERY day as the table went into that tube, I just said "thank you Jesus" and then I prayed that God would only allow the bad to be harmed and NOT the good! That is the same prayer that friends at church were praying. That was way more than 2 agreeing on one thing as the Bible says.
I told the Dr's early on that I did not want a tube and that God was going to protect me. I knew this because I had/have literally thousands of people praying for my well being. MOST of them I have never met, but they were asked to pray so they prayed. Does this all mean that I was unafraid thru all of this. NO, it meant that I felt Gods hand. I must admit there were plenty of times I was afraid. There were plenty of times, including just about 3 weeks before the end, that I wanted to quit. Now about that. I have some awesome friends, and 3 of those friends are Dave and Sherri and Sherri's mom. Sherri's mom had a very similar situation. She had some pretty radical surgery, that Im sure was not pleasant. She went thru chemo, and the 35 radiation treatments, and MADE IT!! She is 78 years old, and is doing wonderful. She has energy, she has spunk, and she has beauty. Its amazing what God will do when you let him in to do it. I remember when we 1st met her she insisted that my wife take her chair. She hopped up on her bed. Now this is not the "normal" height bed, it is higher. She hopped on it like a 12 year old girl. How awesome is that. Ive said all of this to say that SHE was also an inspiration to me. Mr big, tough guy, who did not want to do radiation because of some supposed side effects. She made it thru so why shouldn't I? Absolutely NO reason. :) The really cool thing is that SHE asks about me and my well being all the time. HOW AWESOME IS THAT???
As I walked out of the radiation room for the last time, something was afoot! There was a ribbon strung across the opening and I was hearing music from the Olympics. I was really surprise that the hospital would do something like that. WELL as it turned out the HOSPITAL did not do it. These same friends, conspired with my wife and did all of the celebration. I was HUGELY surprised and blown away!
Friday the 13th, HA! Just a date!
Stories about life in general, politics, where I have been, where Im going, what I like to do.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Sunday, July 8, 2012
LIFE AT 61 - WHAT A JOURNEY!
As I sit here writing this blog, it is a Sunday morning, and it has cooled just a bit. After 10 consecutive days of 100+ heat it will only be in the upper 90's today! LOL Big cool down, but seriously, it all goes with what Im going to write about, and that is what a journey, but on top of that the many blessings I have been given along this journey.
As most of you who have been reading along with me on this journey, it all started way back in January and has had its ups and downs for the last almost 6 months. Just few notes on exactly where this journey has led.
To date, I have had 32 CT Scans, 2 PET scans, 3 chemo treatments with 2 harsh chemicals each time, 30 radiation treatments. In addition to that, I had 3 occasions under anesthesia. Once for the biopsy, once to have a port put in, and once for a colonoscopy. You might be wondering WHY so many CT scans, the reason is that they do one for each radiation treatment, I had one in the ER when I 1st found out things were haywire, and I had one when the radiation did not happen. (I freaked out when the mask I have to wear was too tight on my throat!)
Is this really anymore than other people with this horrible disease go thru. I dont think so, except to say that the Dr and techs have told me that treatment for what I have is the harshest of all the cancer treatments they do. They get very agressive with it, and I suppose in the end I really appreciate that, however my body is not too hip on it. LOL I still have this coming week of treatments before Im done. That is 5 more CT scans and 5 more radiation treatments. Interesting enough I dont glow in the dark, which I was sure I was probably going to do. I am curious about one thing, I will be flying a week after Im done with treatments, will I set off the radiation detectors in airport security?? I dont know, maybe I should ask. :)
I was told the 1st week of February when I saw the original physician, that several things were going to have to happen because of treatment. They were very matter of fact, and straight faced which I suppose they have to be in dealing with diseases that can be fatal. I was told that there ideally would have to be surgery to remove my voice box. I turned that down cold. I knew that I served a very big God and that He would heal this. The next thing was that I would need chemo and probably radiation therapy and then there is no guarantee WITHOUT surgery. In addition to that, I would need a feeding tube because I would not be able to swallow or eat because of an intense sore throat and that I should not try to be a "hero" because I would not be able to stand the pain. I once again told them that God would not let that happen.
OK, well I went to the oncologist and he laid out a plan for the chemo, but there "just happened" to be a meeting the Friday after we met, of the staff of physicians that deal with head and neck cancers and he would present my case to them for additional opinions. The results of that meeting was that I did NOT need surgery, and that the chemo and radiation would take care of things. In addition they decided to NOT use one of the chemicals they originally planned because a side effect is loss of hearing. Since Im involved with sound, that would not have been good. God had HIS hand on that meeting and on me. The 3 chemo treatments were basically non events, with very few side effects and I KNOW that God had His hand on me the whole time. I never really lost my appetite, I was able to do most things, though I took it easy because I was fatigued. When the chemo was done, they did the 2nd PET scan, and if you have been reading this blog, you know that God had healed the cancer, there was NONE to be found. However they decided that I had to do radiation because that is what they do, and I did not feel the release from God to tell them no. (though I REALLY wanted to. LOL) I want to add here that the chemo Dr wanted to use a another round of chemo thru this last 7 weeks, but after investigating the probable side effects, and the 1st one being that it damages the heart, I felt like God was telling me to say no, so we did, and I have not looked back and wondered "what if?" I have felt totally blessed during this time. I have had so very many friends and family praying for me and encouraging me, it has been incredible.
The radiation started 6 weeks ago, and will finish this week, on FRIDAY THE 13TH!! How funny is that? A day that is typically associated with "bad luck" will be a day of freedom and a day where I can walk out of the hospital with my "jason mask". (This mask is form fitted to your face and they use it to guide so they know where to aim the radiation, and it is bolted down to the table so you cannot move your head!) The 1st few weeks of radiation were not too bad with the exception that I started losing my taste, and saliva. That basically meant that I was going to eat a LOT less. Those who know me, know that I could probably afford to eat a little less. :) Since radiation is a "cumulative" process, some of the symptoms have gotten worse, such as dry mouth, and now nothing really tastes too good. The radically sore throat I was promised has not reared its ugly head. I have a bit of a sore throat, but nothing that is so bad that I cannot swallow. Tell me God is not great!! Yes there have been side effects, but nothing that is totally intolerable. YES there have been a few times I wanted to just quit, but God just gave me the ability to get to this point, and now I have only 5 treatments left and will walk out totally healed.
God gets all the praise and glory for this healing. WHY did I have to go thru this? I dont know, I never really asked. I assume that there is a reason, and that someday I will find out. Perhaps it will be helping others deal with their disease. Maybe it will be just telling others about Gods great healing power and how He loves us. I really dont know. I just know I want to be ready for whatever He has planned.
As most of you who have been reading along with me on this journey, it all started way back in January and has had its ups and downs for the last almost 6 months. Just few notes on exactly where this journey has led.
To date, I have had 32 CT Scans, 2 PET scans, 3 chemo treatments with 2 harsh chemicals each time, 30 radiation treatments. In addition to that, I had 3 occasions under anesthesia. Once for the biopsy, once to have a port put in, and once for a colonoscopy. You might be wondering WHY so many CT scans, the reason is that they do one for each radiation treatment, I had one in the ER when I 1st found out things were haywire, and I had one when the radiation did not happen. (I freaked out when the mask I have to wear was too tight on my throat!)
Is this really anymore than other people with this horrible disease go thru. I dont think so, except to say that the Dr and techs have told me that treatment for what I have is the harshest of all the cancer treatments they do. They get very agressive with it, and I suppose in the end I really appreciate that, however my body is not too hip on it. LOL I still have this coming week of treatments before Im done. That is 5 more CT scans and 5 more radiation treatments. Interesting enough I dont glow in the dark, which I was sure I was probably going to do. I am curious about one thing, I will be flying a week after Im done with treatments, will I set off the radiation detectors in airport security?? I dont know, maybe I should ask. :)
I was told the 1st week of February when I saw the original physician, that several things were going to have to happen because of treatment. They were very matter of fact, and straight faced which I suppose they have to be in dealing with diseases that can be fatal. I was told that there ideally would have to be surgery to remove my voice box. I turned that down cold. I knew that I served a very big God and that He would heal this. The next thing was that I would need chemo and probably radiation therapy and then there is no guarantee WITHOUT surgery. In addition to that, I would need a feeding tube because I would not be able to swallow or eat because of an intense sore throat and that I should not try to be a "hero" because I would not be able to stand the pain. I once again told them that God would not let that happen.
OK, well I went to the oncologist and he laid out a plan for the chemo, but there "just happened" to be a meeting the Friday after we met, of the staff of physicians that deal with head and neck cancers and he would present my case to them for additional opinions. The results of that meeting was that I did NOT need surgery, and that the chemo and radiation would take care of things. In addition they decided to NOT use one of the chemicals they originally planned because a side effect is loss of hearing. Since Im involved with sound, that would not have been good. God had HIS hand on that meeting and on me. The 3 chemo treatments were basically non events, with very few side effects and I KNOW that God had His hand on me the whole time. I never really lost my appetite, I was able to do most things, though I took it easy because I was fatigued. When the chemo was done, they did the 2nd PET scan, and if you have been reading this blog, you know that God had healed the cancer, there was NONE to be found. However they decided that I had to do radiation because that is what they do, and I did not feel the release from God to tell them no. (though I REALLY wanted to. LOL) I want to add here that the chemo Dr wanted to use a another round of chemo thru this last 7 weeks, but after investigating the probable side effects, and the 1st one being that it damages the heart, I felt like God was telling me to say no, so we did, and I have not looked back and wondered "what if?" I have felt totally blessed during this time. I have had so very many friends and family praying for me and encouraging me, it has been incredible.
The radiation started 6 weeks ago, and will finish this week, on FRIDAY THE 13TH!! How funny is that? A day that is typically associated with "bad luck" will be a day of freedom and a day where I can walk out of the hospital with my "jason mask". (This mask is form fitted to your face and they use it to guide so they know where to aim the radiation, and it is bolted down to the table so you cannot move your head!) The 1st few weeks of radiation were not too bad with the exception that I started losing my taste, and saliva. That basically meant that I was going to eat a LOT less. Those who know me, know that I could probably afford to eat a little less. :) Since radiation is a "cumulative" process, some of the symptoms have gotten worse, such as dry mouth, and now nothing really tastes too good. The radically sore throat I was promised has not reared its ugly head. I have a bit of a sore throat, but nothing that is so bad that I cannot swallow. Tell me God is not great!! Yes there have been side effects, but nothing that is totally intolerable. YES there have been a few times I wanted to just quit, but God just gave me the ability to get to this point, and now I have only 5 treatments left and will walk out totally healed.
God gets all the praise and glory for this healing. WHY did I have to go thru this? I dont know, I never really asked. I assume that there is a reason, and that someday I will find out. Perhaps it will be helping others deal with their disease. Maybe it will be just telling others about Gods great healing power and how He loves us. I really dont know. I just know I want to be ready for whatever He has planned.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)