LIFE AT 61 - ONE YEAR LATER!

Well the title pretty much says it all.  ONE YEAR LATER!  This time last year, I was spending the night in the hospital.  I was awake, much like I am now, EXCEPT, I had a nurse checking on my every little bit to make sure I was still breathing, taking blood, checking BP, pretty much everything that nurses do in the middle of the night to patients.

January 28, 2012.  Woke up that morning and could hardly swallow water.  Had a sore throat, thought it was a cold coming on, so my wife and I decided to just try a smoothie to see if that would help. NOPE.  Finally went to the ER.  THANKFULLY the ER Dr had the foresight to do a CT scan when he could not see a reason for a sore throat.  He could not see anything with his little light.  A quick test for Strep came back negative.  That was the very beginning of this journey!  WOW what a difference a year makes.  NOW Im up in the middle of the night, just because!

This has been an incredible year.  NEVER did I ever think in my whole life, that I would every have cancer.  Its not something that you ever think, Oh, Im going to get ............ and have to deal with it.  Well at least I never did.  What's been interesting, is that all of a sudden seemingly out of no where, I found a strength and faith that I had never before had.  It seems like all such a blur.  This last year has flown by, yet I remember different days along the way as though they were just yesterday.  That in itself is interesting, since some days I can barely remember what day it is.  :>)  I look back and remember that the morning I woke up in the hospital, not even 24 hours after the Dr's initial diagnosis, I just wanted out, and called my wife and told her to bring me a cinnamon roll from Tony's Donuts.  I dont know why I was craving that, but being the wonderful person she is, she brought not only the cinnamon roll, but a couple more donuts.  Little did I know then, that at one point the taste for those would wane significantly, and even today, I dont eat them often.  What a difference chemo and radiation make when they are targeted for your throat and neck.

It was just a couple of weeks after the initial thoughts on what I had that I had a biopsy, and then just a few days later, on my wifes birthday while we in NC getting ready to go to dinner with my daughter and son in law that I got the phone call that we all knew was coming, but the timing was interesting.  Just getting ready to walk out the door to the car to go for a fun evening to celebrate my wifes 59th birthday!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  My reaction, I thought, was interesting.  I allowed conversation about it for the drive to the restaurant, (it was about an hour's drive to go to this particular place, On The Square), once there it was dinner time and party time and I was determined to not let this news destroy a fun time.  There were so many questions that at that point I had NO answers to.  i just knew one thing, and that was I was NOT going to allow surgery for this.  I knew that God was going to heal me and that is where I stood from day one.  I never faltered in that belief.  Like I said, Ive never had that kind of faith in the past, but for this time, I found that I had incredible faith.

Over this last year, Ive had several "down" times, I think that is normal, but God has been there every step of the way.  He was with me when I wrote the very 1st blog, while in the hospital.  He was there for every chemo treatment, and He was there for all 35 of the radiation treatments.  While they can now pretty much target whatever they are shooting at with the radiation, Im convinced that God was there putting it right where HE wanted it to go.  Whenever I would go into the machine, I had ONE prayer.  Lord, make this treatment harm only the bad and not the good!  Just a simple prayer, but yet powerful.  Giving full trust and confidence, and faith to HIM!  He was with my wife and I for every decision we had to make regarding treatments.  Its incredible when I look back and realize that by allowing God to control things, how easy it made our lives.  IF you know me, you probably know that for me, giving up control of anything is very hard, YET in this instance, and pretty much since, it has not been hard at all.

Ive had some awesome opportunities in the last year to tell how God has healed.  To tell how He has been so merciful, gracious, and such a friend.  YES there have been times when some of the "old" self would creep back in, but I try to quash those immediately.  Ive been part of a great program at the Y called LIVESTRONG.  It is partially sponsored by the LIVESTRONG foundation.  Ive met some incredible people, and had the opportunity to share with them.  To listen to their stories about their journey, to offer my insight on what to do about radiation burns, etc.  Ive had to opportunity to share my story with them as well.  Sometimes it is hard seeing hopelessness in their eyes.  Its heartbreaking to realize they dont have hope, but when the opportunity arises, I share what I can with them.  Sometimes though I see that they HAVE HOPE!  They have fight, determination, and desire.  The so called "human spirit".  I realize that God is working in their lives too.

I have one main goal this year.  That goal is to tell as many as possible my testimony of God's healing, and HIS will to heal all that will allow it.  It is not too hard a goal, just need to carry thru with it.

What a year it has been!

LIFE AT 61 - GOD IS AN AWESOME GOD

Whenever I hear the term "God is AWESOME", I think back to the 1st time I heard the song, Our God is an Awesome God, kind of a 70's beat, but the words are still so very true today.  I do serve an incredibly awesome God.  Now I know there are some of you who might read this blog, and think Im off my rocker, or just plain nuts.  However let me stay on my soapbox for a bit.  I have PERSONALLY felt the healing power of an AWESOME God.  You might say, well how do you know you are healed?  Well that is very simple.  I have medical proof!  I have had 3 PET scans that tell me that.  The latest being on Monday December 31, 2012.  TOTALLY CLEAR!  I know of no other way of saying it, except to say it is a miracle.  Cancer does not just "go away".  YES I did have chemo and radiation, but often times, even with that treatment, some stays around to instill fear, and give a foothold to new onslaughts.  However when God heals, you are healed.  NOTHING, NADA, ZIP!

I remember pretty much when I believe God truly healed me.  I dont recall "feeling" anything magical, or mystical, in fact, I was just worshiping God singing in choir during Easter Sunday performances.  I came back to where my wife, Renita was sitting and she was almost in tears.  I inquired as to why, and she told me she saw lights around my head.  Ok, our church has many theatrical lights, and at the time I had NO hair, so many lights reflecting off my head...  THIS was not what she saw.  She saw what she explained as "mini strobe lights" flashing around my head, and she believed that was Gods healing power on me.  What reinforces this fact, is that I checked an email from a friend that said she had a dream about my healing, and that she saw "strobe lights" flashing around my head.  She knew there and then that I was being healed.  This is all very cool.  One thing that was interesting is that I had not started radiation at that point.  HOWEVER when I did I would ALWAYS pray before each treatment, and ask that the radiation would harm only the bad and not the good.  The very 1st treatment, they tell you what to expect etc.  They said that "some people see flashing lights" but that really is not possible.  Well Im here to tell you it is not only possible, it is true.  As I closed my eyes to go into the machine that gave the treatment, guess what I saw?  You got it, FLASHING STROBE TYPE LIGHTS!!!  Ya think??

I was convinced from day one that God was going to heal me.  Ive never had that type of faith in the past, but I did in this instance.  I guess when you are facing a giant, you look to the giant killer.  I remember the movie, Facing the Giants, there was one line in there from the guy that prayed for the student lockers every morning.  The coach came and talked to him, and told him of his discouragement, the man told him this line.  God is not finished with you here yet.  I dont know what plans God has for me this year, 2013, but I do know that He has something in store that I would never have dreamed of.  One thing that I really feel that I MUST do this year, is to tell this story to anyone and everyone who will listen to it.  I honestly believe it is that important.  I have no idea who might hear this, or read this, that really NEEDS to know this story of Gods mercy, grace, and healing power.

So what is the point of this particular blog?  I really dont know except to say that I really felt God leading me to write it.  Please feel free to pass this along to someone who needs to know of Gods healing.

Jeremiah 29:11  For I know the plans I have for you.  Plans for welfare, and NOT for calamity, to give you a future and a hope!

God has always intended for us to live in grace.  To have health.  He is NOT a mean God who wants to harm, He only wants what is good for His children.  God is indeed an AWESOME God!