I think the title of this one says it all. Today was a day of mind bending information and honestly Im having a bit of trouble wrapping my head around it. I actually borrowed this title from my daughters Face Book status. I will say, I would be totally lost without my wife and my daughter. They are the light of my life, and now will be the people that I lean on with all of this stuff. If you remember my last blog, about the 3 F's, they are now coming more clearly into focus. FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS!
I will admit that my FAITH was a bit shaken today. It did not disappear, but was shaken. 2 Dr appointments, one with a Radiation Oncologist and one with a Hematology Oncologist. (HATE these words)! The 1st was not a pleasant experience. I don't know if I just was in a daze or did not like what I heard, or what it was, but I was just a bit shaken leaving that appointment. The words, 35 radiation treatments, 7 weeks, 5 days a week. You will lose your taste, you might lose your salivary glands, you might, might, might, might. Im sure you can imagine what Im saying. Just a lot of questions, and a lot of answers, very cut and dried, and depressing. :) The most encouraging part was that whatever is lost/damaged, or just messed up, will "probably" come back. 2nd appointment of the day, was actually a bit more upbeat. This Dr was very pleased with the fact that I had the P16 marker, (2 blogs ago), and was pretty enthusiastic about the probability of total cure. In fact he is presenting my case to a group of Dr's on Friday to get more opinions on treatments and possibilities etc.
Hard to think about everything that has to be done, and accomplished for anything to even start. I had to go to the dentist and make sure all my teeth were in place and not loose or any decay or whatever. Things you really dont think about. Happy to say, that is all good.
Next on the list is another appointment with the Hematologist on Friday to discuss for sure treatments. Next is Tuesday. I will have to have a port put in so that the chemo drugs can be administered. Then probably within a couple of days after that. The whole idea being that they will do 2 rounds of chemo, and see what happens, then maybe or maybe not, one more round, then start the radiation treatments. The chemo will be one time then a 3 week period of nothing, then another treatment, and 3 weeks off, then check it out. Radiation is a done deal regardless.
OK that is about WHY cancer sucks. I have a wonderful FAMILY that Im discovering is more that just my wife, daughter and son in law. I have discovered that I have a wonderful extended family at my church, and other Christian friends around the country and literally the world. Interesting enough, my church is called FAMILY Church. I could not possibly be in a better place right now. Im discovering that the FAMILY of God is really just like a large integrated family. Ive never had to put my FAITH and trust in other peoples hands. However that is all changing. Im also discovering that when my faith meter is a bit low, it is boosted at just the right time by FRIENDS that are praying for me. There's those words again, FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS! I feel so incredibly blessed and humbled by all of this. My faith is someplace it has never been before. My family has grown outside of what it was, and my friend base is ever increasing. In fact the FAMILY and FRIENDS are almost meshing as one. It is pretty incredible watching this take place.
Now on to why I believe that JESUS HEALS! It is really quite simple. Jesus said it. That settles it. For those that read this, and are not believers, this might be a bit hard to understand, but that is MY faith, and I cannot nor will I waiver from that. Jesus died on the cross for not only our salvation, but for ALL of our iniquities, and that includes sickness. I mentioned earlier that my faith was shaken just a bit, but remember I have family and friends to back that all up, and that faith meter is climbing again. Yeah I will probably have a difficult couple of months, but I KNOW that I will also have God on my side. I was told when they did the biopsy that I would have a REALLY sore throat. It was sore, but not unbearable. Im confident that I will probably have discomfort, maybe a lot of discomfort, but I also KNOW that if God can be with me thru the early parts of this, HE WILL NOT LEAVE me in this part. I had a friend just the other day say that she was in the mood for a miracle, so why should it not be me? I thought that was pretty cool to think about. I don't know if I will experience a miracle or not. I believe I could, but maybe there is someone out there that needs to hear what I have to say, or read what I write, or just needs an encouraging word. I have seen people lately that are desperate for something to lift their spirits. MAYBE, just maybe I can be that person. I know one thing, I cant do that if Im not strong myself. I need the FAITH, FAMILY, and FRIENDS supporting me, praying for me, and in general just offering kind words. Most of you will never know how wonderful it is to have some kind words thrown my way, or for someone to say, Hey Mike, Im praying for you. It is so very humbling.
SO, if you are reading this for the 1st time, or have been following my blog, THANKS. If you have been praying for me, DONT STOP! One day when all this is over and a memory, I will never forget it. I want to be able to share with you God's GRACE, MERCY, and LOVE.
Stories about life in general, politics, where I have been, where Im going, what I like to do.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - THE 3 F's
OK, dont get weirded out by the title! LOL, its not what you might be thinking. I'll get to what it means in a bit.
It has been a mixed bag couple of days. 1st of all, Im still in Raleigh with my wife, visiting my daughter and son in law, LOVE that. Ive had a couple of phone calls that have kind of made this whole new journey start to seem real and surreal. Appointments are now set for the "consult" visit with the radiation Dr and with the Dr for possible chemo. Kind of strange to work on curing this thing, they have to pretty much poison you to do it. I guess I will find out more about that in a few days. We get back home on Monday and I have the appointments on Tuesday!
In the meantime we are taking a small detour from Raleigh to Washington DC to see one of my daughters best friends, who is playing at the Kennedy Center. We'll spend a day site seeing then come on home. LONG trip. Worth every mile though
Ok, so how does any of this relate to the title, The 3 F's? Easy, here is what they are FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS.
FAITH. I will admit that the last few days have been a bit shaky for me on the faith side. HOWEVER what is really cool, God keeps putting the right people in my path, at the right time. I have friends that send me notes, messages, texts, FB messages, email, you name it and I get them. ALL of them are encouraging me, lifting me up, assuring me that they are praying. ALL of that is like pulling into a gas station and filling the tank on your car, and not near as expensive!!! Yesterday is a great example of how God works. I decided to go to the local Y to take a cycle class. Need to start building strength and I love these classes. The instructor was really good, and as Im pedaling, I thought I recognized some of the music as contemporary Christian. Sure enough it all was, and it just made the whole class that much better. Started praising while pedaling, way cool. I emailed her afterward, and told her what a blessing, and she replied that SHE will now be praying for me. How cool is that. FAITH is indeed something that keeps you solid in your walk. Just one more instance to relate, I had been a bit down the other day, and feeling like I just needed a shot in the arm of something, though if you saw my arm you would think I was nuts! I get home and check my email, and the leader of the intercessory prayer group at church had sent me an email stating that God had put my name on her mind to pray. How cool is that? God cared enough for me that day, to have someone pray, and not just the one, another friend told me the same thing. Another top off on the FAITH tank!
FAMILY. That word should say it all. I dont know where I would be without my immediate family. My wife has been so supportive and encouraging. Yeah, I know some of you might be thinking, "well thats her job", maybe, but she is living it and that makes is all the better. When I get a bit low, she is there to give advice and to lift me a bit. I KNOW that I will have to be leaning a bit harder on her in days to come, so if you think of it pray for her too. She works full time, and may have to alter her schedule to work with my treatments. She is an awesome woman, and Im so thankful for her. My daughter and son in law, have also been very supportive. My daughter is pretty straight forward, and has had questions, as well as advice. Not bad for a 25 year old!! I pretty sure she will also keep my head in the game, and keep me pointed in the right direction. She along with my son in law have been awesome in this journey so far. I would not have wanted to start this without any one of these 3 people.
FRIENDS. Whenever you go thru something like this, you discover who your true friends are. I knew some in the beginning, but have discovered waaaaaay more. Friends I did not even know I had, people that do not even know me, are becoming friends. I don't mean the "friends" like the ones on Face Book, who may or may not be real, but friends who will reach out and offer a hand when you need it. Friends who lift you in prayer when you cant pray. Friends who just send a note of encouragement at just the right time. Please understand I love FB and have lots of friends on there, but most of them I only know because of like political beliefs, and have never met most all of them. Interesting enough, Ive had several people read this blog, that I do not know, but who are also encouraging me, and praying for me. That is the WOW factor of friendship. It also goes back to the blog where I talked about compassion and willingness. Im seeing compassion played out right before my eyes. In fact, it is so weird to see those words in so many places that I had never seen before. God can and will work miracles IF you let him.
So now you know the 3 F's. FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS. I dont think I would be able to make it if I was missing even ONE of the 3 F's. The Bible says to walk by FAITH and not by sight. It also says that by so doing your FAITH will make you whole. Im standing on that promise, and I KNOW that my other 2 F's, FAMILY and FRIENDS will be there with me, cheering me on, helping when needed, praying when needed, and I cannot wait to tell everyone how wonderful God is. He has already made huge differences in my life. Im claiming this healing, it was by HIS stripes that we were healed. We are approaching Easter, and I cant think of a better time to offer praise for my healing. Keep up with the blog and you will likely get the blow by blow description of what is happening.
It has been a mixed bag couple of days. 1st of all, Im still in Raleigh with my wife, visiting my daughter and son in law, LOVE that. Ive had a couple of phone calls that have kind of made this whole new journey start to seem real and surreal. Appointments are now set for the "consult" visit with the radiation Dr and with the Dr for possible chemo. Kind of strange to work on curing this thing, they have to pretty much poison you to do it. I guess I will find out more about that in a few days. We get back home on Monday and I have the appointments on Tuesday!
In the meantime we are taking a small detour from Raleigh to Washington DC to see one of my daughters best friends, who is playing at the Kennedy Center. We'll spend a day site seeing then come on home. LONG trip. Worth every mile though
Ok, so how does any of this relate to the title, The 3 F's? Easy, here is what they are FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS.
FAITH. I will admit that the last few days have been a bit shaky for me on the faith side. HOWEVER what is really cool, God keeps putting the right people in my path, at the right time. I have friends that send me notes, messages, texts, FB messages, email, you name it and I get them. ALL of them are encouraging me, lifting me up, assuring me that they are praying. ALL of that is like pulling into a gas station and filling the tank on your car, and not near as expensive!!! Yesterday is a great example of how God works. I decided to go to the local Y to take a cycle class. Need to start building strength and I love these classes. The instructor was really good, and as Im pedaling, I thought I recognized some of the music as contemporary Christian. Sure enough it all was, and it just made the whole class that much better. Started praising while pedaling, way cool. I emailed her afterward, and told her what a blessing, and she replied that SHE will now be praying for me. How cool is that. FAITH is indeed something that keeps you solid in your walk. Just one more instance to relate, I had been a bit down the other day, and feeling like I just needed a shot in the arm of something, though if you saw my arm you would think I was nuts! I get home and check my email, and the leader of the intercessory prayer group at church had sent me an email stating that God had put my name on her mind to pray. How cool is that? God cared enough for me that day, to have someone pray, and not just the one, another friend told me the same thing. Another top off on the FAITH tank!
FAMILY. That word should say it all. I dont know where I would be without my immediate family. My wife has been so supportive and encouraging. Yeah, I know some of you might be thinking, "well thats her job", maybe, but she is living it and that makes is all the better. When I get a bit low, she is there to give advice and to lift me a bit. I KNOW that I will have to be leaning a bit harder on her in days to come, so if you think of it pray for her too. She works full time, and may have to alter her schedule to work with my treatments. She is an awesome woman, and Im so thankful for her. My daughter and son in law, have also been very supportive. My daughter is pretty straight forward, and has had questions, as well as advice. Not bad for a 25 year old!! I pretty sure she will also keep my head in the game, and keep me pointed in the right direction. She along with my son in law have been awesome in this journey so far. I would not have wanted to start this without any one of these 3 people.
FRIENDS. Whenever you go thru something like this, you discover who your true friends are. I knew some in the beginning, but have discovered waaaaaay more. Friends I did not even know I had, people that do not even know me, are becoming friends. I don't mean the "friends" like the ones on Face Book, who may or may not be real, but friends who will reach out and offer a hand when you need it. Friends who lift you in prayer when you cant pray. Friends who just send a note of encouragement at just the right time. Please understand I love FB and have lots of friends on there, but most of them I only know because of like political beliefs, and have never met most all of them. Interesting enough, Ive had several people read this blog, that I do not know, but who are also encouraging me, and praying for me. That is the WOW factor of friendship. It also goes back to the blog where I talked about compassion and willingness. Im seeing compassion played out right before my eyes. In fact, it is so weird to see those words in so many places that I had never seen before. God can and will work miracles IF you let him.
So now you know the 3 F's. FAITH, FAMILY, FRIENDS. I dont think I would be able to make it if I was missing even ONE of the 3 F's. The Bible says to walk by FAITH and not by sight. It also says that by so doing your FAITH will make you whole. Im standing on that promise, and I KNOW that my other 2 F's, FAMILY and FRIENDS will be there with me, cheering me on, helping when needed, praying when needed, and I cannot wait to tell everyone how wonderful God is. He has already made huge differences in my life. Im claiming this healing, it was by HIS stripes that we were healed. We are approaching Easter, and I cant think of a better time to offer praise for my healing. Keep up with the blog and you will likely get the blow by blow description of what is happening.
Sunday, February 19, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - P16
I really had no intentions of writing today, mainly because I had no news, good or bad, to talk about. HOWEVER, I got a phone call during church this morning. That I think is a bit unusual that the Dr will call you on a SUNDAY! LOL, I did not answer, but left and called him back. He just wanted to basically give me the same information that his nurse practitioner did on Friday, then he said "for some reason" they tested for the P 16 gene! He said patients who are positive have a "much" better recovery than those who don't. He then said that I have this gene. YAY God!!! Only He would have known to give that gene to me, and only He would have prompted the pathologist to test for this, when they normally dont! Imagine that, "for some reason" they tested!! HA, I KNOW the reason!!!
In doing a quick google search of this, it appears that this gene keeps tumors etc from mutating and spreading, and actually make them shrink. Imagine that! Do you think God could possibly know what He is doing?? YEAH!!! I think He just might! You need to remember that this is the same God that fed 5000 "MEN" with 2 fish, and 5 loaves of bread. The key word there is "men". Typically in that day, they did not count women and children. So you could actually probably at least double that number, and maybe triple it. Not that feeding 5000 is not a miracle with that little bit of food, but think about the much bigger miracle of feeding at least 2 times that many, AND have food left over!!
One more thing. I received a comment on my last blog from the wife of a friend of mine. His name is Greg Clark. He is in dire need of a HEART TRANSPLANT. He has been on the list for 11 months, and has been close a couple of times, but in addition to just needing the heart, it has to be large enough for a 6'5" guy. Greg loves the Lord and has served him basically his whole life. I went to church with him when we were kids. I pretty much know the whole family. GREAT family, and now they need help. Please add Greg to your prayers. The downside to a heart transplant is that someone must die so that someone else can live. If you are reading this and have not considered putting your name on an organ transplant list, perhaps it is time you did that. Peoples lives are changed everyday because of an organ transplant. Whether it be something as common as a kidney, or as drastic as a heart, the wonder of all this is that God gave Doctors the ability to make organs work in people that need them. If you would like to donate financially to Greg and his family, here is a link to donate to the cause. This, as you can imagine, is a very expensive operation and insurance will not cover all of the expenses. I would encourage any of you who can, to donate liberally and help make this happen. You can donate either directly or to the web site, directly is to this address.
National Foundation for Transplants
www.transplants.org/donate/gregclark.
THANKS for reading my blogs, and for praying. I can feel the power of the prayers. Please keep me in prayer, but also for my friend Greg
In doing a quick google search of this, it appears that this gene keeps tumors etc from mutating and spreading, and actually make them shrink. Imagine that! Do you think God could possibly know what He is doing?? YEAH!!! I think He just might! You need to remember that this is the same God that fed 5000 "MEN" with 2 fish, and 5 loaves of bread. The key word there is "men". Typically in that day, they did not count women and children. So you could actually probably at least double that number, and maybe triple it. Not that feeding 5000 is not a miracle with that little bit of food, but think about the much bigger miracle of feeding at least 2 times that many, AND have food left over!!
One more thing. I received a comment on my last blog from the wife of a friend of mine. His name is Greg Clark. He is in dire need of a HEART TRANSPLANT. He has been on the list for 11 months, and has been close a couple of times, but in addition to just needing the heart, it has to be large enough for a 6'5" guy. Greg loves the Lord and has served him basically his whole life. I went to church with him when we were kids. I pretty much know the whole family. GREAT family, and now they need help. Please add Greg to your prayers. The downside to a heart transplant is that someone must die so that someone else can live. If you are reading this and have not considered putting your name on an organ transplant list, perhaps it is time you did that. Peoples lives are changed everyday because of an organ transplant. Whether it be something as common as a kidney, or as drastic as a heart, the wonder of all this is that God gave Doctors the ability to make organs work in people that need them. If you would like to donate financially to Greg and his family, here is a link to donate to the cause. This, as you can imagine, is a very expensive operation and insurance will not cover all of the expenses. I would encourage any of you who can, to donate liberally and help make this happen. You can donate either directly or to the web site, directly is to this address.
National Foundation for Transplants
5350 Poplar Avenue, Suite 430
Memphis, TN 38119
Be sure to mark your donation
"In honor of Greg Clark, Missouri Transplant Fund"www.transplants.org/donate/gregclark.
THANKS for reading my blogs, and for praying. I can feel the power of the prayers. Please keep me in prayer, but also for my friend Greg
Friday, February 17, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - THE REAL BATTLE BEGINS
Well maybe the title says it all, but it does not really. The biopsy results came back today around 5pm EAST coast time, since that is where I am right now. They were not what I wanted or really expected. The words were a bit scary, but they were squamous cell cancer. WOW, I really said those words. However why not say them. It is what I was told and so now what do I do? Do I run and hide in the woods till this all passes. NOPE, I really dont like the woods, too many mosquitoes. LOL Besides this time of year it tends to be a bit chilly too. I remain strong and steadfast in the Lord. What else can I do? That is what this journey has been all about.
OK, now I know there are some naysayers in the crowd. You were just waiting for this thinking, OK what will he do when it comes back positive for cancer. Well dont be so fast on the trigger partner. Ive said all along that GOD is in total control of this, and that is where Im firmly planted. Am I happy, hardly! Am I mad at God, definitely NOT! God did not do this too me. Perhaps He may have allowed it, but Im quite confident that there is someone out there that needs to see this thing healed, or needs to hear about Gods love thru me.
Does this all mean that Im going to be Mr Positive throughout the process. Well I can't make total promises, but Im going to do my best and with Gods help, YES I will. I have literally 1000's praying for me, and if you are one of those people, PLEASE don't stop now! I need the prayers more than ever.
So what does all this news mean? Honestly I don't totally know just yet. Since it was so late today that I got the news, the Dr office wont contact the "treatment" people till Monday. Im out of town till the 27th or so, so I cant do much till then anyway. I do know that there will probably be radiation treatments 5 days a week for 4-6 weeks. Whether there is anything more radical I do not know. Im praying NOT. Im in this for the fight, and I know I have a HUGE advantage by having God on my side. Im not looking for bad stuff to happen because I know my God is a healer, but He is also the lifter of my head, and my supporter. He is kinda like a big brother that goes into a fight 1st for your and clears the way. THAT is what MY God can do. Im believing that there is someone in the hospital or radiation area, or maybe just someone that will cross my path that needs to hear this story. Remember the last blog, the word WILLING! Im willing to do whatever God wants me to do. Im not sure I have ever been in that position before. Like I said before, sometimes I can be rather selfish, but now, Im all in, and ready to see what God has in store. Ive been told that the radiation treatments can be brutal, Im praying for extra tolerance of pain, and praying that it wont be that bad. Am I naive? I dont think so. Im a believer and that is where Im standing.
Remember I have written 10 blogs before this one about this journey. I have not waivered one bit, and Im not going to start now.
I was so very fortunate tonight in that I just "happened" to have my daughter, her hubby, my wife, all together with me when I got the news. I did not have to make a very difficult phone call to her, and she was able to hear it 1st hand and we could talk face to face. You think God is not kind and merciful. HA, He knew we would all need each other, and this time and this place was HIS choosing.
Like I said earlier, if you are praying for me, please KEEP IT UP! If you are not and you are a praying person, please start, (Ive become a prayer glutton!) :) I love getting prayed for, but interesting enough, Ive started praying MORE for others. Im believing in healing for several friends now, and will continue to pray for them while Im going thru whatever it is I end up going thru. My prayer is this. If you are one of my friends, or even someone I dont know, and you dont know Jesus, I pray that you will find him thru what Im going thru. It is all good, and I know that He will be by my side in everything I do.
THANKS too all who read this
OK, now I know there are some naysayers in the crowd. You were just waiting for this thinking, OK what will he do when it comes back positive for cancer. Well dont be so fast on the trigger partner. Ive said all along that GOD is in total control of this, and that is where Im firmly planted. Am I happy, hardly! Am I mad at God, definitely NOT! God did not do this too me. Perhaps He may have allowed it, but Im quite confident that there is someone out there that needs to see this thing healed, or needs to hear about Gods love thru me.
Does this all mean that Im going to be Mr Positive throughout the process. Well I can't make total promises, but Im going to do my best and with Gods help, YES I will. I have literally 1000's praying for me, and if you are one of those people, PLEASE don't stop now! I need the prayers more than ever.
So what does all this news mean? Honestly I don't totally know just yet. Since it was so late today that I got the news, the Dr office wont contact the "treatment" people till Monday. Im out of town till the 27th or so, so I cant do much till then anyway. I do know that there will probably be radiation treatments 5 days a week for 4-6 weeks. Whether there is anything more radical I do not know. Im praying NOT. Im in this for the fight, and I know I have a HUGE advantage by having God on my side. Im not looking for bad stuff to happen because I know my God is a healer, but He is also the lifter of my head, and my supporter. He is kinda like a big brother that goes into a fight 1st for your and clears the way. THAT is what MY God can do. Im believing that there is someone in the hospital or radiation area, or maybe just someone that will cross my path that needs to hear this story. Remember the last blog, the word WILLING! Im willing to do whatever God wants me to do. Im not sure I have ever been in that position before. Like I said before, sometimes I can be rather selfish, but now, Im all in, and ready to see what God has in store. Ive been told that the radiation treatments can be brutal, Im praying for extra tolerance of pain, and praying that it wont be that bad. Am I naive? I dont think so. Im a believer and that is where Im standing.
Remember I have written 10 blogs before this one about this journey. I have not waivered one bit, and Im not going to start now.
I was so very fortunate tonight in that I just "happened" to have my daughter, her hubby, my wife, all together with me when I got the news. I did not have to make a very difficult phone call to her, and she was able to hear it 1st hand and we could talk face to face. You think God is not kind and merciful. HA, He knew we would all need each other, and this time and this place was HIS choosing.
Like I said earlier, if you are praying for me, please KEEP IT UP! If you are not and you are a praying person, please start, (Ive become a prayer glutton!) :) I love getting prayed for, but interesting enough, Ive started praying MORE for others. Im believing in healing for several friends now, and will continue to pray for them while Im going thru whatever it is I end up going thru. My prayer is this. If you are one of my friends, or even someone I dont know, and you dont know Jesus, I pray that you will find him thru what Im going thru. It is all good, and I know that He will be by my side in everything I do.
THANKS too all who read this
Monday, February 13, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - WILLING
Good morning all! This particular post is not necessarily about being 60 or what is happening health wise with me, but maybe it is, since it all seems to be intertwined. This has been an amazing last 2 weeks. It all started with a sore throat! I kinda laugh at it now, but looking back over the last 2 weeks and seeing the working hand of God and how HE orchestrates things totally blows my mind.
You often hear these days about the 6 degrees of separation, and other such things. I sometimes just blew those off as being "things". But Im finding out that God puts people in your path, that you may or may not know, that are there either to help your OR be helped. You just have to be WILLING. That is my new word. WILLING! Are you willing to see that person that is placed there, or do you just walk past them, or around them, or totally ignore them? What if that person is the exact person God has placed there to pray for your healing, that will be the one whose prayer He answers? OR what if that person is the one YOU need to pray for or talk to, that God will answer their cry for help, just because YOU took the time to care. You must be WILLING.
Since I have been going thru all these tests, and groping, and touchy feely stuff, I have had to rely on the prayers of others. HOWEVER in the last week, God has awakened me to a "new" me! It is all pretty interesting to sit back and watch this happen. You see, I had been growing pretty "cold" toward things in life, including my spiritual walk. It happens, though it shouldn't but it sometimes does. The really cool thing is that all it takes to turn things around, is to turn! In my case it took a bit more of a nudge. A sore throat nudge, and the prayers of more people than I can count! However this has all created a new awakening in my body, mind and spirit. An awakening that I honestly have never experienced before. It has also created in me a compassion for others that I had never had in the past. If you think about it, compassion is one of Jesus' biggest traits. Since we are to be like Jesus, should we not have compassion, and lots of it? I think that might be a good idea!! Here again, to have compassion we have to be willing. There's that word again. I have discovered that really all God wants of us is to be willing. Willing to do his will. That does not mean that we cant do other things, but we have to be willing to stop and listen, even when you might be in a hurry. It means being willing to pray for someone's need, even if you don't know the person. It might mean willing to give a ride to someone who does not have transportation to get to a Dr appointment or a ride to church, It might mean being willing to just be there.
The last 2 weeks have been eye opening for me. It has showed me that I have been selfish, and NOT willing to do a lot of these things. It showed me that for years, I have thought of myself as being better than others. It has showed me that I have NOT been WILLING to be willing 100% of the time. Yes, I have helped others, I have done the good deeds, sometimes to excess, but what Im realizing now, is that I was only doing things that "I" wanted to do, not necessarily what God wanted me to do. Sometimes they meshed, but other times, only if it fit my schedule or if it was something I really wanted to do. If you are willing, God can use you, if you are NOT willing, He cannot! A truth so simple, yet hard to grasp. If you are willing, things will come your way, and God will bless your life.
All I can say is that I have had a true eye opening experience. I guess you could call it life changing.
Have an awesome Monday! Be willing.
You often hear these days about the 6 degrees of separation, and other such things. I sometimes just blew those off as being "things". But Im finding out that God puts people in your path, that you may or may not know, that are there either to help your OR be helped. You just have to be WILLING. That is my new word. WILLING! Are you willing to see that person that is placed there, or do you just walk past them, or around them, or totally ignore them? What if that person is the exact person God has placed there to pray for your healing, that will be the one whose prayer He answers? OR what if that person is the one YOU need to pray for or talk to, that God will answer their cry for help, just because YOU took the time to care. You must be WILLING.
Since I have been going thru all these tests, and groping, and touchy feely stuff, I have had to rely on the prayers of others. HOWEVER in the last week, God has awakened me to a "new" me! It is all pretty interesting to sit back and watch this happen. You see, I had been growing pretty "cold" toward things in life, including my spiritual walk. It happens, though it shouldn't but it sometimes does. The really cool thing is that all it takes to turn things around, is to turn! In my case it took a bit more of a nudge. A sore throat nudge, and the prayers of more people than I can count! However this has all created a new awakening in my body, mind and spirit. An awakening that I honestly have never experienced before. It has also created in me a compassion for others that I had never had in the past. If you think about it, compassion is one of Jesus' biggest traits. Since we are to be like Jesus, should we not have compassion, and lots of it? I think that might be a good idea!! Here again, to have compassion we have to be willing. There's that word again. I have discovered that really all God wants of us is to be willing. Willing to do his will. That does not mean that we cant do other things, but we have to be willing to stop and listen, even when you might be in a hurry. It means being willing to pray for someone's need, even if you don't know the person. It might mean willing to give a ride to someone who does not have transportation to get to a Dr appointment or a ride to church, It might mean being willing to just be there.
The last 2 weeks have been eye opening for me. It has showed me that I have been selfish, and NOT willing to do a lot of these things. It showed me that for years, I have thought of myself as being better than others. It has showed me that I have NOT been WILLING to be willing 100% of the time. Yes, I have helped others, I have done the good deeds, sometimes to excess, but what Im realizing now, is that I was only doing things that "I" wanted to do, not necessarily what God wanted me to do. Sometimes they meshed, but other times, only if it fit my schedule or if it was something I really wanted to do. If you are willing, God can use you, if you are NOT willing, He cannot! A truth so simple, yet hard to grasp. If you are willing, things will come your way, and God will bless your life.
All I can say is that I have had a true eye opening experience. I guess you could call it life changing.
Have an awesome Monday! Be willing.
Saturday, February 11, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - BIOPSY
Well, it has been an incredibly long and interesting day! Long only because I was up a 0420 and lots of tiredation from the anesthesia. Dr said that by tomorrow that should be bye bye! He told me I would have a pretty sore throat, well I have a sore throat, but not very. So I really believe that God is answering prayer and Im feeling great about what is to come! I probably wont find out about the pathology till maybe Wednesday. It usually takes 3 or 4 business days. However Im not anxious for anything.
Anesthesia is some crazy stuff. :) They gave me a "relaxer" before we got to the operating room, and I remember going in the room and joking, and kinda remember sliding onto the table from the bed, but after that have NO CLUE! I woke up in recovery, and started talking to the 2 nurses. I was pretty amazed that I could talk. They started giving me some ice chips, and some sips of water, 1st few hurt a bit, but really not much. I actually tried to sing a bit, and it works!!! Not many notes, but a few, and that is cool.
When I first got in my "room", I guess it is kinda like a prep room, not large, but big enough. Usual things, BP, temp, questions and more questions. Normally people are a bit amped about being readied to go to surgery, but I was quite calm, a total peace. I knew I had many people praying for me at that time. Awesome to know that people actually got up very early on a Saturday morning to pray for Gods safety on someone. Not only on me, but on all the nurses, Dr, Anesthesiologist, etc. WOW. Anyway back to the calmness. One sure way to tell is the BP. Mine normally is around 130/85 That is normal resting for me. This morning it was 130/64. Total peace, total calm. Messing with everyones head as they came in to make sure I was who I was supposed to be by saying Id never heard of this Compton guy! One nurse was totally confused. :)
I guess the highlight of the day, (besides coming home), was a nurse named Angie! She is the one that met me in reception, she had a rough start to the day. She was surprised by a small bit of snow and was running late, so she was all apologetic, not a big deal! She was also the nurse who checked me out of the joint! I had the opportunity to talk to her about Jesus and His healing power. She is a believer, but she also told me about her mother and her husbands father. BOTH of them have cancer. She was impressed, for lack of a better word, with my positive attitude toward this thing I have going on. I started telling her about all the verses in the Bible that talk about healing! My friend Jim sent me a list of 101 verses! I have some AWESOME friends. Friends that care for me, that pray for me, and that hold me up when I get weak. Im totally humbled by what has happened to me in the last 2 weeks. Literally a huge change in my life. My outlook on life, and total attitude adjustment. It is really what God is doing in me, as opposed to whatever this "mass" might be. Almost freaks me out a bit, but Im hanging on the ride, and I think the biggest secret to this in God's eyes, is "willing".
Im willing, are you? Think about it.
Anesthesia is some crazy stuff. :) They gave me a "relaxer" before we got to the operating room, and I remember going in the room and joking, and kinda remember sliding onto the table from the bed, but after that have NO CLUE! I woke up in recovery, and started talking to the 2 nurses. I was pretty amazed that I could talk. They started giving me some ice chips, and some sips of water, 1st few hurt a bit, but really not much. I actually tried to sing a bit, and it works!!! Not many notes, but a few, and that is cool.
When I first got in my "room", I guess it is kinda like a prep room, not large, but big enough. Usual things, BP, temp, questions and more questions. Normally people are a bit amped about being readied to go to surgery, but I was quite calm, a total peace. I knew I had many people praying for me at that time. Awesome to know that people actually got up very early on a Saturday morning to pray for Gods safety on someone. Not only on me, but on all the nurses, Dr, Anesthesiologist, etc. WOW. Anyway back to the calmness. One sure way to tell is the BP. Mine normally is around 130/85 That is normal resting for me. This morning it was 130/64. Total peace, total calm. Messing with everyones head as they came in to make sure I was who I was supposed to be by saying Id never heard of this Compton guy! One nurse was totally confused. :)
I guess the highlight of the day, (besides coming home), was a nurse named Angie! She is the one that met me in reception, she had a rough start to the day. She was surprised by a small bit of snow and was running late, so she was all apologetic, not a big deal! She was also the nurse who checked me out of the joint! I had the opportunity to talk to her about Jesus and His healing power. She is a believer, but she also told me about her mother and her husbands father. BOTH of them have cancer. She was impressed, for lack of a better word, with my positive attitude toward this thing I have going on. I started telling her about all the verses in the Bible that talk about healing! My friend Jim sent me a list of 101 verses! I have some AWESOME friends. Friends that care for me, that pray for me, and that hold me up when I get weak. Im totally humbled by what has happened to me in the last 2 weeks. Literally a huge change in my life. My outlook on life, and total attitude adjustment. It is really what God is doing in me, as opposed to whatever this "mass" might be. Almost freaks me out a bit, but Im hanging on the ride, and I think the biggest secret to this in God's eyes, is "willing".
Im willing, are you? Think about it.
Friday, February 10, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - NIGHT BEFORE
I was not sure if I was going to write tonight or not. This is the night before the biopsy. Scared, NOPE, apprehensive, NOPE again. Im totally resting in my faith in God and His power.
I guess the reason I decided to write was to just let people know what is going on. I think my opening statement says pretty much all of it, but just a few things more. Ive discovered that more people are praying that I 1st knew about. I am just so totally humbled about this whole thing. My wife is so awesome and supportive, but she made a statement the other day that kinda got to me, well she has made several lately, but this one, and one other, which I'll talk about later, got to me. "Maybe God wanted you to see that people care about you!" I guess over the last while, not sure how long but awhile, I've be a bit down about things, maybe a mid life deal, who knows, but now suddenly I have so many people praying and caring about me, I cannot even count them. I have total strangers praying for me, just because they were asked to. How incredible is that? REALLY? Well that is what the family of God is all about, we care about each other, even though we might now know someone, if asked to pray we do.
Another thing that has really changed in me, among many, but this one is pretty important. COMPASSION! I kinda always thought I had compassion, but suddenly I find I really do care about the needs of others. I look past the all the "stuff" and see a need. I guess God is really working on a total makeover for me. Now THAT is scary!! LOL
Well this will be a short one tonight as I need to go to bed, 4:30 AM comes very early. There will be more tomorrow as I will let you all know how the whole thing went. :)
God is in control
I guess the reason I decided to write was to just let people know what is going on. I think my opening statement says pretty much all of it, but just a few things more. Ive discovered that more people are praying that I 1st knew about. I am just so totally humbled about this whole thing. My wife is so awesome and supportive, but she made a statement the other day that kinda got to me, well she has made several lately, but this one, and one other, which I'll talk about later, got to me. "Maybe God wanted you to see that people care about you!" I guess over the last while, not sure how long but awhile, I've be a bit down about things, maybe a mid life deal, who knows, but now suddenly I have so many people praying and caring about me, I cannot even count them. I have total strangers praying for me, just because they were asked to. How incredible is that? REALLY? Well that is what the family of God is all about, we care about each other, even though we might now know someone, if asked to pray we do.
Another thing that has really changed in me, among many, but this one is pretty important. COMPASSION! I kinda always thought I had compassion, but suddenly I find I really do care about the needs of others. I look past the all the "stuff" and see a need. I guess God is really working on a total makeover for me. Now THAT is scary!! LOL
Well this will be a short one tonight as I need to go to bed, 4:30 AM comes very early. There will be more tomorrow as I will let you all know how the whole thing went. :)
God is in control
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - PET SCAN RESULTS
OK, here is the long awaited news. Drum roll please? No there is not real need for fanfare. It is a good news, not so good news scenario. The good news is that the total body PET scan showed that there is NOTHING anywhere in my body, with the exception of my throat!
So, what do I do now? Well as I see it, I have 2 choices. I can run screaming and go hide and stomp my feet and say no, no, no, no, and be mad at God, OR I can continue on this journey, and continue to praise God, and follow His leading, and continue to believe Him for my healing. So what to do? I think I will take door #2. I will continue to trust God, I will continue to praise Him for my healing, and I will continue to trust Him for my needs. It is really a no brainer so to speak. He has brought me this far. The PET scan could have been much worse, and I would be facing much more. The way this is, I can handle this, with God's help.
When I spoke to the Dr awhile ago, I questioned him about WHAT exactly was going to happen on Saturday and he answered with the answers I needed to hear. NO invasive anything. A simple biopsy, though I will be knocked out totally. He will look at the "growth" on the right side of my voice box. If he takes a sample of that, he will not sample the lymph nodes, if he samples the nodes, he wont do the other. In his opinion the results are one in the same. The nodes get their disease from someplace else.
This is all assuming that it is bad news. It is not! I look at this report as basically being good news. I have no disease in my body anywhere but my throat, and nothing is certain there either. So we await Saturday, and go from there. There really is not a choice to make, except that I CHOOSE to believe that God is my healer! Im standing on the scripture in Mark 11:22-24. AND JESUS ANSWERED SAYING TO THEM, "HAVE FAITH IN GOD. TRULY I SAY TO YOU WHOEVER SAYS TO THIS MOUNTAIN, BE TAKEN UP AND CAST INTO THE SEA, AND DOES NOT DOUBT IN HIS HEART, BUT BELIEVES WHAT HE SAYS IS GOING TO HAPPEN, IT WILL BE GRANTED HIM. THEREFORE I SAY TO YOU,ALL THINGS FOR WHICH YOU PRAY AND ASK, BELIEVE THAT YOU HAVE REEIVED THEM, AND THEY WILL BE GRANTED YOU!!
Now unless Im just totally stupid and cant understand what is written, I have to take this at face value and believe that whatever this is in my throat and neck is harmless.
One interesting side effect of this whole scenario, is that Im finding myself to have much more compassion for people. I have also found myself much more willing to really pray for people, not just a cursory prayer, but honestly pray for their need. When this 1st started, my faith was really pretty low. I had 2 good friends at church, Debbie and Terri, tell me not to worry about that because the faith of all the ones praying for me would sustain me, and uphold me, and literally "refill" my faith tank. Know what? Its working. I cannot say that I have ever had this much faith. Im riding on a spiritual "high" right now, but I also know that one cannot stay there forever, but I know how to refuel from time to time, and that is a process that I had let go for way too long. I had found myself growing cold and distant. It is so easy to "get back" to the loving arms of Jesus, and His protection, and His healing, and His comfort.
Like I said, this is a journey, and this is only 1/2 time. The 2nd half is yet to come, and Im expecting great things.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - PET SCAN DAY!
As I sit here writing this, my mind is both tired and still running in a hundred different directions. As I said in the last blog, this will be a journey, good or bad. Im probably more confident today than Ive been all along that this is all going to be good news in the end. I still have the biopsy on Saturday morning to go thru, but Im still believing that that will come back negative as well.
Getting back to today. Before they put me on this tiny table, the needed to check blood sugar, then inject me with some radioactive sugar! YUM. Unfortunately they had to poke me 5 TIMES!!! OUCH. But I was gracious and did not walk out! (amazing for me) For those of you who know me personally know that Im anything but a small person. (LOL) Imagine laying on a table that moves back and forth, but that table is only about 12" wide! HA, Then the person working it all says DONT MOVE! yeah right. To top it off they wrapped my arms so they would not dangle, so now I really cant move, and honestly had a bit of a hard time breathing at 1st. About 45 min in total. Well I did it and did not get sick from claustrophobia!
So what does one do while being strapped to a table that moves forward and backward, and not being allowed to move. Well, besides letting my mind drift a bit, I started praying for all those who Ive seen lately that need prayer. I also started just claiming this healing. The Bible says we can do that, so I did. Interesting enough, I started getting this "peace" about everything. God is in control, and I just need to let HIM have it! AHH but you see, I have a real issue with that. Im a person that likes to think that I can "fix" most everything. I have always been that way, I just want to do it myself. But really, this is what Gods wants us to all know. HE is in control. HE loves us. HE wants us to rely on Him for all our needs. Faith is a difficult thing to really grasp at time, but yet so very simple. WHY cant we seem to grasp this? Why do we waste so much time doing whatever, when we could just have an easier time of it, putting our needs in Gods hands.
Here is a simple example. IF you look at this whole faith walk this way maybe it will simplify things. Those of you who are parents, will understand. God is our father. Dad if you will. He cares for us more than anything else. There is nothing that He would not do for us. It is all there for the asking. So why is this such a hard thing to learn and do? You know Im 60 years old, and I have been taught this my whole life, but because Im also HUMAN, I like to do it myself. HOWEVER things like this have a way of grabbing your attention, and keeping it.
I have had the opportunity over the last few days to reflect on my spiritual walk as well as other parts of my life. Have I been all that I could have been over the years. Probably not. But lets suppose that I chose to make different choices. Where would I be? I cant answer that. I know that there is really something to the "6 degrees of separation" thing. It seems like Im meeting people that I dont know but they know someone else that I do, so there is common ground for friendship.
So what about this "healing thing" that I have been talking about? Mark 11, 22-24 "Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them and they will be granted you!" WOW what a promise that is. 1 Peter 2:24 "and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness, for by His wounds you were healed."
It is on these promises that Im claiming my healing. God said it, it's true!!
Getting back to today. Before they put me on this tiny table, the needed to check blood sugar, then inject me with some radioactive sugar! YUM. Unfortunately they had to poke me 5 TIMES!!! OUCH. But I was gracious and did not walk out! (amazing for me) For those of you who know me personally know that Im anything but a small person. (LOL) Imagine laying on a table that moves back and forth, but that table is only about 12" wide! HA, Then the person working it all says DONT MOVE! yeah right. To top it off they wrapped my arms so they would not dangle, so now I really cant move, and honestly had a bit of a hard time breathing at 1st. About 45 min in total. Well I did it and did not get sick from claustrophobia!
So what does one do while being strapped to a table that moves forward and backward, and not being allowed to move. Well, besides letting my mind drift a bit, I started praying for all those who Ive seen lately that need prayer. I also started just claiming this healing. The Bible says we can do that, so I did. Interesting enough, I started getting this "peace" about everything. God is in control, and I just need to let HIM have it! AHH but you see, I have a real issue with that. Im a person that likes to think that I can "fix" most everything. I have always been that way, I just want to do it myself. But really, this is what Gods wants us to all know. HE is in control. HE loves us. HE wants us to rely on Him for all our needs. Faith is a difficult thing to really grasp at time, but yet so very simple. WHY cant we seem to grasp this? Why do we waste so much time doing whatever, when we could just have an easier time of it, putting our needs in Gods hands.
Here is a simple example. IF you look at this whole faith walk this way maybe it will simplify things. Those of you who are parents, will understand. God is our father. Dad if you will. He cares for us more than anything else. There is nothing that He would not do for us. It is all there for the asking. So why is this such a hard thing to learn and do? You know Im 60 years old, and I have been taught this my whole life, but because Im also HUMAN, I like to do it myself. HOWEVER things like this have a way of grabbing your attention, and keeping it.
I have had the opportunity over the last few days to reflect on my spiritual walk as well as other parts of my life. Have I been all that I could have been over the years. Probably not. But lets suppose that I chose to make different choices. Where would I be? I cant answer that. I know that there is really something to the "6 degrees of separation" thing. It seems like Im meeting people that I dont know but they know someone else that I do, so there is common ground for friendship.
So what about this "healing thing" that I have been talking about? Mark 11, 22-24 "Have faith in God. Truly I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, Be taken up and cast into the sea, and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that what he says is going to happen, it will be granted. Therefore I say to you, all things for which you pray and ask, believe that you have received them and they will be granted you!" WOW what a promise that is. 1 Peter 2:24 "and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, so that we might die to sin and live to righteousness, for by His wounds you were healed."
It is on these promises that Im claiming my healing. God said it, it's true!!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - TODAY!
I was not going to write today, really because there was not much to write about! OR so I thought. We had to run out of town today for awhile, so we went to the 1st service at St. Louis Family Church. Literally from the moment we walked in I could sense that what was happening was for me! Dont mean to sound conceited, but from the 1st words that the worship leader, Danny Liston, mentioned to all the songs, to the message Pastor Jeff preached, were all about Gods healing power, and that it is there for the taking.
I must add, that literally from 1st song to last, I had many tears. I could feel the power of God all over me. Im not normally this vocal about such things, but maybe I should have been thru the years. If you have faith should you not express it? Is that not what we as Christians should be doing to win the lost? Anyway back to this morning. At the end of the service I went up to the front and caught Pastor Jeff before he could get too far away! (He has 3 services on Sunday, so he like a bit of a break) Now I have been prayed for before, but this time was amazing. The command, yet genuine gentleness of this man praying for me was amazing. I could feel God right there in the middle of us. He prayed specifically, and directly. Im more confident now than I was before that God was going to be very powerful in this situation, and that I have nothing to fear. Does that mean that I wont fear? Probably not, Im human, and this honestly is scary! However I know that when I am scared and afraid of whatever, I have one huge body guard who can beat up ANY bully around, and protect me!
Ive had several people remark how "positive" I've been thru this. I will say, I dont understand how that has been possible, because more times than not, I dont feel that way. Like I said in the last blog, every fiber in my being was screaming to run, not walk, as far away from that Dr office. But I sensed a calming and went forward. This will be a journey, good or bad, it will be a journey. One thing I can hardly wait for is to tell EVERYONE what a MIGHTY God we serve, and that He is still in the healing business. (Hmmm sounds like a song in there somewhere!) :)
Im writing way more than I planned on, but maybe there is someone out in cyberspace that is reading this that NEEDS to know that God is a miracle working God. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid! Do not give the enemy ANY room to get in your head. Get strong physically, mentally, and spiritually! God will sustain. He is me, and I KNOW he will you.
As Im writing this, the end of half time came on and Clint Eastwood, just said something that hit me. "Its half time America," Get ready for the 2nd half!" Yeah, the 2nd half is coming ...........
Stay tuned for the next half should be a new journey for all of us!
I must add, that literally from 1st song to last, I had many tears. I could feel the power of God all over me. Im not normally this vocal about such things, but maybe I should have been thru the years. If you have faith should you not express it? Is that not what we as Christians should be doing to win the lost? Anyway back to this morning. At the end of the service I went up to the front and caught Pastor Jeff before he could get too far away! (He has 3 services on Sunday, so he like a bit of a break) Now I have been prayed for before, but this time was amazing. The command, yet genuine gentleness of this man praying for me was amazing. I could feel God right there in the middle of us. He prayed specifically, and directly. Im more confident now than I was before that God was going to be very powerful in this situation, and that I have nothing to fear. Does that mean that I wont fear? Probably not, Im human, and this honestly is scary! However I know that when I am scared and afraid of whatever, I have one huge body guard who can beat up ANY bully around, and protect me!
Ive had several people remark how "positive" I've been thru this. I will say, I dont understand how that has been possible, because more times than not, I dont feel that way. Like I said in the last blog, every fiber in my being was screaming to run, not walk, as far away from that Dr office. But I sensed a calming and went forward. This will be a journey, good or bad, it will be a journey. One thing I can hardly wait for is to tell EVERYONE what a MIGHTY God we serve, and that He is still in the healing business. (Hmmm sounds like a song in there somewhere!) :)
Im writing way more than I planned on, but maybe there is someone out in cyberspace that is reading this that NEEDS to know that God is a miracle working God. Do not be discouraged. Do not be afraid! Do not give the enemy ANY room to get in your head. Get strong physically, mentally, and spiritually! God will sustain. He is me, and I KNOW he will you.
As Im writing this, the end of half time came on and Clint Eastwood, just said something that hit me. "Its half time America," Get ready for the 2nd half!" Yeah, the 2nd half is coming ...........
Stay tuned for the next half should be a new journey for all of us!
Friday, February 3, 2012
LIFE AT 60 - DR APPOINTMENT
Well this was a day or trepidation, and honestly a bit of fear not knowing what the Dr would say, or do, or much of anything. I have to admit that walking into a very sterile looking waiting area that say "cancer center" in several places, and the word "oncology" is all rather disconcerting. Every fiber in my being was screaming, RUN, dont walk. Get out of there you dont belong. But alas, I did have the appointment. I took the time too look around at the surroundings, and even the people. I began to actually ache for some of them. Tired, run down, elderly, not really seeming to be "with it". I wanted to scream again, only this time at this insidious disease. I dont even know for certain that I have it, but I still HATE it. I hate what it does to people.
Well on to the appointment. I actually was on time, unfortunately typical of Dr offices, it took an hour to get it. Since St Louis University is a "teaching" hospital, I had a nice young lady sit in on the exam. (Oh to be young again). LOL A nurse practitioner gave me an initial exam, then the Dr came in and did the same exam, but this time a bit more thorough. Asked a lot of questions, and I gave a lot of answers. I was really trying to be calm and funny, but on the inside I was a wreck. The good news is that apparently what he saw today does not look as bad as what they saw on Saturday. Praise God for that. HOWEVER, after more explanation, it is a bit more spread out than we were originally told.
I have 3 lymph nodes that are "affected". There is also "something" at the base of my larynx. Honestly that scares the crap out of me. I happen to like my voice!! (a bit on that later) He did show me the CT scan, and honestly it looked pretty cool, but he knew what he was looking at, and after pointing those things out, I could see the subtle little differences. However just as I thought, there was not the word, CANCER written on those body parts anywhere. Im still believing God for healing, and I will cling to that forever. He also did the scope up the nose and down the throat again. YUCK, this time he deadened it, and that was really nasty tasty stuff. UGH, thought I was going to choke on the Lidacaine.
After all this, we had a bit of a chat. Long story short, he believes that at least most of what he saw is malignant. However, he did order a PET scan to verify all this. This scan will be a complete body scan and will show any abnormalities anywhere. YES even the brain, so no wise cracks out there!! IF the scan is negative, there is a good chance that the nodes are as well. Apparently the way I understood him, the nodes get their disease from somewhere else in the body. I will let everyone know when that takes place, Im assuming sometime early this next week. He wants it done before the Saturday appointment for the biopsy. At that time he will aspirate the lymph nodes and send them off to pathology. He will also sample whatever it is by my voice box. It will be after all that, that we decide how to proceed. Im in favor of the God healing me part. The other part does not sound anything at all like fun.
I know that there are probably literally 1000's of people around the world praying for me. I cannot begin to say how humbling that is. To think of total strangers praying for someone they dont know, but do because they believe in a healing God. How amazing is that?? I have no idea how many people read my blogs, there is no counter on these pages, so I just assume a few people on face book and maybe some more that happen to just find it. Does not matter, it is good therapy for me to write. If you see this and are a praying person, please add me to your prayer list.
Im going to have to get myself in a bit better shape, so I can withstand whatever onslaught comes my way. Better shape mentally, physically, and spiritually. They all 3 work together you know. You cannot be well if everything is not in synch.
I'll keep you all posted.
Mike
Well on to the appointment. I actually was on time, unfortunately typical of Dr offices, it took an hour to get it. Since St Louis University is a "teaching" hospital, I had a nice young lady sit in on the exam. (Oh to be young again). LOL A nurse practitioner gave me an initial exam, then the Dr came in and did the same exam, but this time a bit more thorough. Asked a lot of questions, and I gave a lot of answers. I was really trying to be calm and funny, but on the inside I was a wreck. The good news is that apparently what he saw today does not look as bad as what they saw on Saturday. Praise God for that. HOWEVER, after more explanation, it is a bit more spread out than we were originally told.
I have 3 lymph nodes that are "affected". There is also "something" at the base of my larynx. Honestly that scares the crap out of me. I happen to like my voice!! (a bit on that later) He did show me the CT scan, and honestly it looked pretty cool, but he knew what he was looking at, and after pointing those things out, I could see the subtle little differences. However just as I thought, there was not the word, CANCER written on those body parts anywhere. Im still believing God for healing, and I will cling to that forever. He also did the scope up the nose and down the throat again. YUCK, this time he deadened it, and that was really nasty tasty stuff. UGH, thought I was going to choke on the Lidacaine.
After all this, we had a bit of a chat. Long story short, he believes that at least most of what he saw is malignant. However, he did order a PET scan to verify all this. This scan will be a complete body scan and will show any abnormalities anywhere. YES even the brain, so no wise cracks out there!! IF the scan is negative, there is a good chance that the nodes are as well. Apparently the way I understood him, the nodes get their disease from somewhere else in the body. I will let everyone know when that takes place, Im assuming sometime early this next week. He wants it done before the Saturday appointment for the biopsy. At that time he will aspirate the lymph nodes and send them off to pathology. He will also sample whatever it is by my voice box. It will be after all that, that we decide how to proceed. Im in favor of the God healing me part. The other part does not sound anything at all like fun.
I know that there are probably literally 1000's of people around the world praying for me. I cannot begin to say how humbling that is. To think of total strangers praying for someone they dont know, but do because they believe in a healing God. How amazing is that?? I have no idea how many people read my blogs, there is no counter on these pages, so I just assume a few people on face book and maybe some more that happen to just find it. Does not matter, it is good therapy for me to write. If you see this and are a praying person, please add me to your prayer list.
Im going to have to get myself in a bit better shape, so I can withstand whatever onslaught comes my way. Better shape mentally, physically, and spiritually. They all 3 work together you know. You cannot be well if everything is not in synch.
I'll keep you all posted.
Mike
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