LIFE AT 61 - WHAT A JOURNEY!

As I sit here writing this blog, it is a Sunday morning, and it has cooled just a bit.  After 10 consecutive days of 100+ heat it will only be in the upper 90's today!  LOL  Big cool down, but seriously, it all goes with what Im going to write about, and that is what a journey, but on top of that the many blessings I have been given along this journey.

As most of you who have been reading along with me on this journey, it all started way back in January and has had its ups and downs for the last almost 6 months. Just few notes on exactly where this journey has led.

To date, I have had 32 CT Scans, 2 PET scans, 3 chemo treatments with 2 harsh chemicals each time, 30 radiation treatments.  In addition to that, I had 3 occasions under anesthesia.  Once for the biopsy, once to have a port put in, and once for a colonoscopy.  You might be wondering WHY so many CT scans, the reason is that they do one for each radiation treatment, I had one in the ER when I 1st found out things were haywire, and I had one when the radiation did not happen.  (I freaked out when the mask I have to wear was too tight on my throat!)

Is this really anymore than other people with this horrible disease go thru.  I dont think so, except to say that the Dr and techs have told me that treatment for what I have is the harshest of all the cancer treatments they do.  They get very agressive with it, and I suppose in the end I really appreciate that, however my body is not too hip on it.  LOL  I still have this coming week of treatments before Im done.  That is 5 more CT scans and 5 more radiation treatments.  Interesting enough I dont glow in the dark, which I was sure I was probably going to do.  I am curious about one thing, I will be flying a week after Im done with treatments, will I set off the radiation detectors in airport security??  I dont know, maybe I should ask.  :)

I was told the 1st week of February when I saw the original physician, that several things were going to have to happen because of treatment.  They were very matter of fact, and straight faced which I suppose they have to be in dealing with diseases that can be fatal.  I was told that there ideally would have to be surgery to remove my voice box.  I turned that down cold.  I knew that I served a very big God and that He would heal this.  The next thing was that I would need chemo and probably radiation therapy and then there is no guarantee WITHOUT surgery.  In addition to that, I would need a feeding tube because I would not be able to swallow or eat because of an intense sore throat and that I should not try to be a "hero" because I would not be able to stand the pain.  I once again told them that God would not let that happen.

OK, well I went to the oncologist and he laid out a plan for the chemo, but there "just happened" to be a meeting the Friday after we met, of the staff of physicians that deal with head and neck cancers and he would present my case to them for additional opinions.  The results of that meeting was that I did NOT need surgery, and that the chemo and radiation would take care of things.  In addition they decided to NOT use one of the chemicals they originally planned because a side effect is loss of hearing.  Since Im involved with sound, that would not have been good.  God had HIS hand on that meeting and on me.  The 3 chemo treatments were basically non events, with very few side effects and I KNOW that God had His hand on me the whole time.  I never really lost my appetite, I was able to do most things, though I took it easy because I was fatigued.  When the chemo was done, they did the 2nd PET scan, and if you have been reading this blog, you know that God had healed the cancer, there was NONE to be found.  However they decided that I had to do radiation because that is what they do, and I did not feel the release from God to tell them no.  (though I REALLY wanted to.  LOL)  I want to add here that the chemo Dr wanted to use a another round of chemo thru this last 7 weeks, but after investigating the probable side effects, and the 1st one being that it damages the heart, I felt like God was telling me to say no, so we did, and I have not looked back and wondered "what if?"  I have felt totally blessed during this time.  I have had so very many friends and family praying for me and encouraging me, it has been incredible.

The radiation started 6 weeks ago, and will finish this week, on FRIDAY THE 13TH!!  How funny is that?  A day that is typically associated with "bad luck" will be a day of freedom and a day where I can walk out of the hospital with my "jason mask".  (This mask is form fitted to your face and they use it to guide so they know where to aim the radiation, and it is bolted down to the table so you cannot move your head!)  The 1st few weeks of radiation were not too bad with the exception that I started losing my taste, and saliva.  That basically meant that I was going to eat a LOT less.  Those who know me, know that I could probably afford to eat a little less.  :)  Since radiation is a "cumulative" process, some of the symptoms have gotten worse, such as dry mouth, and now nothing really tastes too good.  The radically sore throat I was promised has not reared its ugly head.  I have a bit of a sore throat, but nothing that is so bad that I cannot swallow.  Tell me God is not great!!  Yes there have been side effects, but nothing that is totally intolerable.  YES there have been a few times I wanted to just quit, but God just gave me the ability to get to this point, and now I have only 5 treatments left and will walk out totally healed.

God gets all the praise and glory for this healing.  WHY did I have to go thru this?  I dont know, I never really asked.  I assume that there is a reason, and that someday I will find out.  Perhaps it will be helping others deal with their disease.  Maybe it will be just telling others about Gods great healing power and how He loves us.  I really dont know.  I just know I want to be ready for whatever He has planned.