LIFE AT 61 - ONE YEAR LATER!

Well the title pretty much says it all.  ONE YEAR LATER!  This time last year, I was spending the night in the hospital.  I was awake, much like I am now, EXCEPT, I had a nurse checking on my every little bit to make sure I was still breathing, taking blood, checking BP, pretty much everything that nurses do in the middle of the night to patients.

January 28, 2012.  Woke up that morning and could hardly swallow water.  Had a sore throat, thought it was a cold coming on, so my wife and I decided to just try a smoothie to see if that would help. NOPE.  Finally went to the ER.  THANKFULLY the ER Dr had the foresight to do a CT scan when he could not see a reason for a sore throat.  He could not see anything with his little light.  A quick test for Strep came back negative.  That was the very beginning of this journey!  WOW what a difference a year makes.  NOW Im up in the middle of the night, just because!

This has been an incredible year.  NEVER did I ever think in my whole life, that I would every have cancer.  Its not something that you ever think, Oh, Im going to get ............ and have to deal with it.  Well at least I never did.  What's been interesting, is that all of a sudden seemingly out of no where, I found a strength and faith that I had never before had.  It seems like all such a blur.  This last year has flown by, yet I remember different days along the way as though they were just yesterday.  That in itself is interesting, since some days I can barely remember what day it is.  :>)  I look back and remember that the morning I woke up in the hospital, not even 24 hours after the Dr's initial diagnosis, I just wanted out, and called my wife and told her to bring me a cinnamon roll from Tony's Donuts.  I dont know why I was craving that, but being the wonderful person she is, she brought not only the cinnamon roll, but a couple more donuts.  Little did I know then, that at one point the taste for those would wane significantly, and even today, I dont eat them often.  What a difference chemo and radiation make when they are targeted for your throat and neck.

It was just a couple of weeks after the initial thoughts on what I had that I had a biopsy, and then just a few days later, on my wifes birthday while we in NC getting ready to go to dinner with my daughter and son in law that I got the phone call that we all knew was coming, but the timing was interesting.  Just getting ready to walk out the door to the car to go for a fun evening to celebrate my wifes 59th birthday!  I remember it like it was yesterday.  My reaction, I thought, was interesting.  I allowed conversation about it for the drive to the restaurant, (it was about an hour's drive to go to this particular place, On The Square), once there it was dinner time and party time and I was determined to not let this news destroy a fun time.  There were so many questions that at that point I had NO answers to.  i just knew one thing, and that was I was NOT going to allow surgery for this.  I knew that God was going to heal me and that is where I stood from day one.  I never faltered in that belief.  Like I said, Ive never had that kind of faith in the past, but for this time, I found that I had incredible faith.

Over this last year, Ive had several "down" times, I think that is normal, but God has been there every step of the way.  He was with me when I wrote the very 1st blog, while in the hospital.  He was there for every chemo treatment, and He was there for all 35 of the radiation treatments.  While they can now pretty much target whatever they are shooting at with the radiation, Im convinced that God was there putting it right where HE wanted it to go.  Whenever I would go into the machine, I had ONE prayer.  Lord, make this treatment harm only the bad and not the good!  Just a simple prayer, but yet powerful.  Giving full trust and confidence, and faith to HIM!  He was with my wife and I for every decision we had to make regarding treatments.  Its incredible when I look back and realize that by allowing God to control things, how easy it made our lives.  IF you know me, you probably know that for me, giving up control of anything is very hard, YET in this instance, and pretty much since, it has not been hard at all.

Ive had some awesome opportunities in the last year to tell how God has healed.  To tell how He has been so merciful, gracious, and such a friend.  YES there have been times when some of the "old" self would creep back in, but I try to quash those immediately.  Ive been part of a great program at the Y called LIVESTRONG.  It is partially sponsored by the LIVESTRONG foundation.  Ive met some incredible people, and had the opportunity to share with them.  To listen to their stories about their journey, to offer my insight on what to do about radiation burns, etc.  Ive had to opportunity to share my story with them as well.  Sometimes it is hard seeing hopelessness in their eyes.  Its heartbreaking to realize they dont have hope, but when the opportunity arises, I share what I can with them.  Sometimes though I see that they HAVE HOPE!  They have fight, determination, and desire.  The so called "human spirit".  I realize that God is working in their lives too.

I have one main goal this year.  That goal is to tell as many as possible my testimony of God's healing, and HIS will to heal all that will allow it.  It is not too hard a goal, just need to carry thru with it.

What a year it has been!