LIFE AT 61 - SOME THOUGHTS

As most of you who have been following this blog, you know Ive gone thru cancer treatments, and that God has healed me.  Seems pretty cut and dried doesnt it?  But what about AFTER the healing?  Ive been thinking of this for some time.

It is so easy to just go on about your business and say "OK, Im healed, I can just go on living."  HOWEVER that is not entirely true.  I think anyone who has been healed, including me, MUST make it known to anyone who will listen what God has done.  What does all this mean?  Honestly I really dont have all the answers, but I will impart what I do know.  :)  FIRST let me say Im eternally grateful for the healing that God gave me.  I dont know where I would be, or what my health would be like if He had not.  I do not believe that the chemo and radiation would have done what it did, had not God "anointed" it to do the healing.  There are certain physical and mental issues that derive from those two treatments.  "Chemo Brain".  Irritating, but not life threatening.  Makes you rely on God a bit more than you might otherwise.  Sometimes hard to do.  Radiation has some nice benefits.  For example, I only shave about every 3 - 4 days.  That is a bit more frequent than it was.  For awhile I was only shaving about once a week, sometimes every 10 days.  I still dont have hair growth on the back of my neck, and last radiation was July 13, so we are at about 10 months.  Kinda cool actually.  One benefit/side effect, look at it how you will, is that my voice is VERY low.  Singing voice is a very low bass.  It will eventually get back to where it once was, as the vocal folds are still a bit swollen.  Some people with this dont have a voice, God preserved mine.  I will equate it with what Paul called his "thorn in the flesh".  I do believe that God will finish the healing in HIS time.  Too often we want things done NOW.   It does not really bother me, in fact kinda fun at times.  LOL

Gods timing is ALWAYS impeccable.  He does not need a watch, He does not need a sundial, He KNOWS what time it is at all times.  I think sometimes we try too hard to understand who God is.  How hard is it, to try to imagine that God can take care of my need here in St Louis MO, and take care of someone elses need somewhere around the world at the very same time.  That is how HUGE God is.

Now for the biggest question that ANYONE can ask!  WHY does God heal some and NOT others.  WOW, do I really want to tackle this question.  It is one I have thought of many times over the last 1+ year.  What I do know is that God is WILLING to heal everyone.  It is NOT His will that ANYONE be SICK.  I do know that some people just give up and decide they want to die.  I do know of real cases where this has happened.  I know that God will use EVERYTHING for His Glory!  He can take and evil and turn it around for HIS Glory.  Im not at all sure why everyone is not healed however, aside from what I have mentioned.  I can only speak to MY situation.  I have not ever for even one minute, doubt that God was going to heal me.  Once I got the Dr's diagnosis in his office BEFORE the biopsy was done, and had a good cry, I never doubted that God was in control of this situation in my life, and that HE would get the GLORY for it, regardless of the outcome.  I can honestly say it was probably the  1st time in my life that I had totally given it over to God.  I really had no choice, nor did I have anything to lose.  So why not just give it over to God?  Really when you think about it, that is all HE really wants from us.  Just give ALL of our life over to Him.

I am now approaching a year since my last radiation treatment.  I just had a 4th PET scan that came back negative.  I had no doubt about the results.  My family had no doubts.  It was a Dr thing.  You must realize that MOST Dr's rely on what they can physically see, touch, and that is their way of understanding and diagnosing.

I have a good friend who was recently diagnosed with "non smokers lung cancer"!  HOW STRANGE IS THAT!!!!  Anyway.  Ive encouraged her as much as possible, told her about Gods healing power, though she knows that.  She is a believer and has been most of her life.  She just shared with me, and others great news about how the radiation oncologist was changing the radiation treatments because for some reason she is getting a lot better and that the cancer is going away.  AMAZING right?  Her oncologist is also amazed at her progress after only a few treatments.  PLEASE do not try to tell me that GOD is not in the healing business, HE IS!!!

KEEP THE FAITH FRIENDS.  If you need healing, or prayer, let me know and I will pray for you!!