IS 53:5 "But He was pierced through for our transgressions, He was crushed for our iniquities; The chastening for our well being fell upon Him, and by His scourging we are healed" Notice that it does not say that we might be healed, or that if He feels like it we will be healed, it says we ARE healed! How awesome is that.
Tomorrow morning I have my 1st chemo treatment. It is a bit daunting. Ive never had to face anything like this in my life. Even though I had a heart attack a bit over 7 years ago, this is something totally different. That was an easy fix. This one is a bit more difficult, from the HUMAN perspective, and since that is where Im coming from, Im going to be a bit more open with some feelings. While I do totally believe that Im going to be healed, in fact I believe that God is working in me as I write. I believe that the healing in addition to the physical, is also spiritual, and mental. I think in my case He is working on all 3 areas at the same time.
The surgeon told Renita, (my wife), after the biopsy that it was about the size of a nickel. That is so small God could just flick that away with a flick of His finger. BUT there is obviously something that He has in mind for the greater good of the "kingdom". I honestly cant wait to see what it is. So the physical for now looks like God is letting the Dr's handle that. They seem to have a great plan of attack, and I believe that God is guiding them. So that takes care of the physical side.
On to the mental, and emotional side! OK NO comments about the mental side!!! LOL Honestly, Ive had some real questions lately. Some up and down emotionally. It is kinda hard to confront your own mortality. THIS is not that kind of carcinoma. Some of the emotions at times do get to me. Ive never had to face this before and it is a bit scary. HOWEVER, when that happens, I think about others who have had so much worse than me, and have come thru it with flying colors. I think about little kids who have terminal cancer and are so incredibly brave and then I feel like a total loser for how I feel. :) Mentally I feel like Im getting stronger and tougher. Ive always worn my feelings on my sleeve, and it has always been a weak point for me. I really feel like God is giving me strength in those areas. I know I have a lot of people praying for me and my complete healing.
On the spiritual side, WOW, that is a whole other question. I will admit that before this all started, I was at best a "weak" Christian. I was a "convenient" Christian at times. In other words, when it was convenient, I was a Christian. HOWEVER sometime ago, (probably 5 years or so), I started realizing that THIS is not what God wanted in my life. He wanted someone who would stand up for Him when needed. He wanted me to be strong for him. He wanted someone who would be more "hot" than "cold". Ive known about Gods love my whole life in fact gave Him my life at a very young age. I was born and raised in church. Ive chosen to work with churches in my profession. EVERYTHING, I do is all about church, but not always about Jesus! There is a difference. Shamefully it often times takes a "wake up call" to get real. Guess I was not getting real enough fast enough!!! Had this occurred at any other time, Im not sure I would have had the faith I have right now. See Gods timing is ALWAYS perfect. He will never give us more than we can handle. So as you can see the timing for this is for now, not before now, and not after now, it is for now.
I really hopeful that these blogs I write are helpful and informative, and perhaps a bit uplifting to you. I know that it is very therapeutic for me to write them. It really gives me an outlet for some of my thoughts, feelings, and emotions. Keep the comments coming I love them.
Stories about life in general, politics, where I have been, where Im going, what I like to do.
Mike, your openness and complete transparency is so moving to me. I have told you this before but it rings so very true for me, I may not be going through what you are but you are ministering to me. We all have our own issues we are dealing with but God gave you this gift of writing all that you are feeling and going through what stands out the most to me is your faith, trust and love of God and His Son Jesus as you quoted Isaiah 53:4-5 AMP " Surely He has borne our griefs (sicknesses, weaknesses, and distresses) and carried our sorrows and pains [of punishment], yet we [ignorantly] considered Him stricken, smitten, and afflicted by God [as if with leprosy]. 5 But He was wounded for our transgressions, He was bruised for our guilt and iniquities; the chastisement [needful to obtain] peace and well-being for us was upon Him, and with the stripes [that wounded] Him we are healed and made whole." it doesn't matter where we are He meets us exactly where we are at! Thank You Jesus! I will be praying and standing with you through Mike, you are more than a conqueror through Christ Jesus. It doesn't matter what we feel, what we see, what we hear....we know what that all our answers are in our ONE TRUE, NEVER FAILING, LEGAL DOCUMENT (AS OUR WONDERFUL/AWESOME PASTOR JEFF TEACHES US ) HE IS SO FAITHFUL AND TRUST WORTHY HE IS THE SAME, YESTERDAY, TODAY AND TOMORROW HE WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. Singing this along with many others for you my dear friend.
ReplyDeleteOur God (Is Greater) by Chris Tomlin (w/ lyrics)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p-6YdT1DEO8
I DO NOT OWN THIS SONG! This song was written by Chris Tomlin, Jesse Reeves, Jonas Myrin, and Matt Redman. Sung by: Chris Tomlin. Owned by: EMI Christian Mus...
THANKS Debbie! Your support is so amazing and so much appreciated. Pastor Jeff is a great teacher. Like I said earlier today, I cannot think of ANY other church that would be better for me to be in right now. The people are so caring and sincere. When they say they are going to pray for you, you can bank on it.
DeleteIm so blessed to have friends like you, an Terri, and Chad, and all the others there. I will never be able to totally express my feelings and what the friendship means to not only me but my family.
These blogs are mostly easy to write because I feel that it is Jesus writing thru me. Like I said, I might never know the reason for all this, this side of heaven, but I KNOW that God is in control and His ways are way better than my ways
mc
I keep remembering what Mary said to you today, look how all the people of our wonderful church love and truly care but she kept saying but God loves you so much more..I agree I don't think we can wrap our head around that until we get to heaven. I feel so honored and blessed to be a part of your life. I also agree I can see Jesus writing thru you, your transparency and Jesus who lives in you writing with you is showing all your faith, your love for Him and How Great He Is. We are here for you and your family and please do not hesitate to call me for anything that I can do to help. I will be in touch tomorrow. Praying the peace that surpasses all understanding helps you get a wonderful nights sleep tonight. I cannot wait to here your testimony on the other side of this, we overcome by the Blood Of the Lamb and the word of our testimony, and yours my fiend is going to be great! Debbie
DeleteRemember that when we are weak, thats when he is strong. I believe that he will use this experience to show YOU and others that he is big. It's all about him and his kingdom. Jesus said that he would never leave us nor forsake us. He is there right beside you as are we.
ReplyDeleteWe can only do our part in Gods plan for your life, it may be pray, walk by your side,ensourage you, tell a joke on bad days, or anything else that God has planned for you. Mike we stand together as a host of many nations, from all walks of life, with you as you face what God has called to to walk through, just know that you are not alone my brother.
Please keep us updated and always say hello when you see me, I want to be able to pray with you not only in slience, but face to face.