LIFE AT 60 - DR APPOINTMENT

Well this was a day or trepidation, and honestly a bit of fear not knowing what the Dr would say, or do, or much of anything.  I have to admit that walking into a very sterile looking waiting area that say "cancer center" in several places, and the word "oncology" is all rather disconcerting.  Every fiber in my being was screaming, RUN, dont walk.  Get out of there you dont belong.  But alas, I did have the appointment.  I took the time too look around at the surroundings, and even the people.  I began to actually ache for some of them.  Tired, run down, elderly, not really seeming to be "with it".  I wanted to scream again, only this time at this insidious disease.  I dont even know for certain that I have it, but I still HATE it.  I hate what it does to people.

Well on to the appointment.  I actually was on time, unfortunately typical of Dr offices, it took an hour to get it.  Since St Louis University is a "teaching" hospital, I had a nice young lady sit in on the exam.  (Oh to be young again).  LOL  A nurse practitioner gave me an initial exam, then the Dr came in and did the same exam, but this time a bit more thorough.  Asked a lot of questions, and I gave a lot of answers.  I was really trying to be calm and funny, but on the inside I was a wreck.  The good news is that apparently what he saw today does not look as bad as what they saw on Saturday.  Praise God for that.  HOWEVER, after more explanation, it is a bit more spread out than we were originally told.

I have 3 lymph nodes that are "affected".  There is also "something" at the base of my larynx.  Honestly that scares the crap out of me.  I happen to like my voice!!  (a bit on that later)  He did show me the CT scan, and honestly it looked pretty cool, but he knew what he was looking at, and after pointing those things out, I could see the subtle little differences.  However just as I thought, there was not the word, CANCER written on those body parts anywhere.  Im still believing God for healing, and I will cling to that forever.    He also did the scope up the nose and down the throat again.  YUCK, this time he deadened it, and that was really nasty tasty stuff.  UGH, thought I was going to choke on the Lidacaine.

After all this, we had a bit of a chat.  Long story short, he believes that at least most of what he saw is malignant.  However, he did order a PET scan to verify all this.  This scan will be a complete body scan and will show any abnormalities anywhere.  YES even the brain, so no wise cracks out there!!  IF the scan is negative, there is a good chance that the nodes are as well.  Apparently the way I understood him, the nodes get their disease from somewhere else in the body.  I will let everyone know when that takes place, Im assuming sometime early this next week.  He wants it done before the Saturday appointment for the biopsy.  At that time he will aspirate the lymph nodes and send them off to pathology.  He will also sample whatever it is by my voice box.  It will be after all that, that we decide how to proceed.  Im in favor of the God healing me part.  The other part does not sound anything at all like fun.

I know that there are probably literally 1000's of people around the world praying for me.  I cannot begin to say how humbling that is.  To think of total strangers praying for someone they dont know, but do because they believe in a healing God.  How amazing is that??  I have no idea how many people read my blogs, there is no counter on these pages, so I just assume a few people on face book and maybe some more that happen to just find it.  Does not matter, it is good therapy for me to write.  If you see this and are a praying person, please add me to your prayer list.

Im going to have to get myself in a bit better shape, so I can withstand whatever onslaught comes my way.  Better shape mentally, physically, and spiritually.  They all 3 work together you know.  You cannot be well if everything is not in synch.

I'll keep you all posted.

Mike